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I still owe him and her a guestbook entry. Heh.
Translating from English to Malay is such a pain in the neck. Ugh. It'a taking even more time translating than writing the damn paper!
I'm reading about conjuctivitis, and eww, I'm disgusted and totally grossed out. There are picture too! Eww... bleah. Why am I assigned to do such a project? Now I'm going to be totally paranoid every time my eyes starts to hurt or itch even a little...
This kind of make me not want to be involved in medical even more. I don't think I can stomach it.
Before I get too carried away with my nonsensical posts or get too involved in my Biology research paper (which I should be doing at the moment), I need to say something first. To my might've-been-twin:
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Ling Ling...
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuu!
Check your mailbox soon, my dear. ;) Who knows someone might have sent you something. Just as long as you make sure it's not ticking before you open it. Hehe.
I hardly have friends outside my school... I'm pathetic, yea I know. I'm not the social kind.
Yep, I'm in love with it too. I was expecting lesser quality shots because of all the webcams online, only a select few are really clear. And I have no idea what kind of cams they're using.
Don't be jealous. ;) If you're considering a webcam, get an Intel cam. Worth the money spent if you're really planning to make good use of it (like taking pictures in the nude and don't want to have negatives on it lying around...). Hehe. Clear shots, remember?
Not that I plan to set it up in the bathroom, of course. Just a suggestion to those who are interested. ;)
I'm known for pining over the past, friendship included. That's what that makes me so jaded now and that's what that stemmed my inability to trust anyone completely. This... fear of getting hurt. But sometimes I wonder if this fear is effecting my life too much. It may be good not to care too much, but I think a heart of stone isn't going to help much either.
Sometimes I wish I can care. But I just don't. Not anymore. The natural instinct that stands in the way of caring, making me a survivor with hard, cold rationale. But I don't have the emotions or the courage to care anymore.
Actually, I think this is pretty mild compared to another shot (with a camera) of mine that looks even more like an assassin. I think it might be the yellow lighting of it though, and the weird stare.
I still aspire to be a serial killer though. I think it's an exciting job, constant running around from the police, leaving cute little clues behind, and getting to watch people slowly die while I'm at it.
I think they meant me when they said movies are effecting the minds of kids and teenagers of this era. Muahahahahahaha.
By the way, I'm not using Webcam32 anymore because it sucks and refuses to work for me. I'm better off with the Intel software I got.
And I love my webcam... it really takes clear shots. But maybe too clear isn't the best thing either... you'll see what an ugly skin I have. Muahahaha. Don't go blind, okay?
Image will change when you reload... that is, if I'm online. Catch me in the act of staying up all night again? Hehe. Just as long as you don't tell my parents.
Ugh, why does this takes so long to download? *waits anxiously*
A treat for you... my lovely visitors. Hehe. Lookie, some webcam shots!
I don't have a smooth complexion
Playing my brother's guitar in the Kuantan house
Guess what? Guess what?
I got a USB port now! Woohoo!
I have a few friends who I had thought are very close friends of mine. At least they once were, and we had drifted apart. Only that I didn't know how far apart is that. And today I found out that they aren't such close friends after all. And though saddened me a little, after a moment I realized that I don't really care anymore.
I'm jaded. Too bad about that, huh?
I have my latest artpiece to scan in, but I'm a little lazy right now. I can't be bothered to run downstairs and scan it... ugh. Later, I guess. Like tomorrow. Or something. ;)
I just got my dad to lend me some of his books about ophthalmology for my Biology research paper. Now I need to pick out what I need from all the dusty books, make notes, write out the report, and translate them into Malay.
Sheesh. The lengths I would go to just to get extra credits. *sigh*
I happen to like the old dark desktop of yours! Eh, I dislike anything too mushy. The mushiest so far is the one with a lot of red roses placed like a wheel of fortune with the letterings "Lottery of Love", which I made along with my old journal layout (which had one solitary red rose). And that wasn't so mushy after all.
My current one has been here for the past week, which I got from somewhere online (the first time I used a free desktop from the net!). It's futuristic. Well, kind of. I love it.
Damn Kig. He's posting pictures of a lot of snacks, snacks that my house is currently barren of. My house is like a desert for dessert, meaning there's no dessert or anything sweet anywhere!
*quickly writes an email to Kig to request for hosting*
Hehe. Nah, I wouldn't. I already have Ling Ling. I love it here too. *Mwahs* to my fabulous hostess.
It's rather hard to do facial feng-shui with pictures, right? I don't know. It's always better to use the real face. Don't they have people to do facial feng-shui in Singapore too? Hehe. I just basically read from a book anyway. And my brother's girlfriend's mother is a Chinese herbalist and also someone who knows how to read facial feng-shui as well as palmistry.
Chinese are classified as Mongolian, and yeah, we should have straight hair... but I don't. Perhaps there are exceptions to it.
I wonder if Dad disapproves of the songs that's on my MP3 list at the moment. It's on at a rather loud volume, and a lot of them have the word "fuck" and other rather vulgar words. We all know parents are pretty conservative about these stuffs, right?
me: lele!
lele: Pei Pei!!
lele: Oi. I swear. I am never going to message you again. Each time I have in the past few days, you get disconnected.
lele: :-[
me: lol
me: really?
me: /me didn't realize that
lele: Hehe it'll be like "GODDESS PEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!" goddess pei has signed off.
me: LOL!!!
lele: Yeah hehe maybe it's may fault lol. It's happened like 30x in the past month!
me: perhaps jaring has something against you too
me: ;-)
lele: Haha probably
me: *shrugs*
Just when I was thinking that Jaring is providing a decent connection today, it goes ahead and disconnects me.
Damn. You're lucky to live near KL. I had ordered for my USB port since over two months ago and I still hadn't gotten it yet. It's annoying as heck. Hopefully the PC technicians will learn to start keeping their promises and get mine in this week or so.
It may be harder than that. I haven't figured out whether I like to slowly torture people to death or make quick kills. Maybe I should try it out on someone first before you, so I can make sure. ;)
But if I do, then who's gonna be my hostess? Who am I going to talk to when I'm online? Who am I going to taunt when I buy chocolate? Who's gonna treat me to some yummy chocolate when she wins a million dollars? *sobs* I need my Ling Ling to entertain me! Don't die!
Hehe, I have a weirder remedy for pimples. Most people would use pimple cream. At least all my friends do that. Since I couldn't be bothered with them, I applied Dettol antiseptic cream on my pimples instead, and surprisingly it works! Heh. I didn't think it would, but perhaps when the antiseptic cream kills bacterias, it managed to speed up the healing too.
If given a chance, I can be even sillier than that. Just try me. ;)
Can't login to Softhome... *sigh* Most of my emails is still directed to there.
Ugh, why is it that I can't download anything off I-Drive? It's getting as annoying as heck. Why the hell would I store something there when in the end I wouldn't be able to retrieve them back? It's just stupid.
Ouch, my tongue really hurts right now. Earlier when I got back from tuition, I burned my tongue when I drank some red bean soup that my mom made. It would figure that I would be too impatient to let it cool down a bit. Bleah.
One of the things I absolutely love about living in Malaysia is the yummy food. Hehe. Temptations are everywhere, and almost everything you see that is edible is just mouthwatering.
Well, some of them. Others are plain inedible. ;)
Time for some facial feng-shui! Hehe. Well, today Pei Zhen commented about how my ears is flattened evenly against my head instead of sticking out. In the Chinese feng-shui, it's supposed to be good to have your ears close to your head. I forgot what it symbolizes, and I can't look it up since my brother had borrowed the book to someone and has not returned it back yet...
Hmm, what do you think? Anyway, I have slightly-joined eyebrows (not very visible, but it runs in the family), which is not good because it's blocking the "light", which would be the space between your eyebrows, above your nose. And then my eyebrow is classified as "knive eyebrows", which meant that I have a good future as an assassin because I can "kill without a reason and won't think twice about it".
Cool, eh? Send in your requests if you want someone dead... I might just pick to do you a favor! ;)
Straight hair, wavy hair, or curly hair? Mine's damaged hair. ;) Seriously though, I'm supposed to have straight hair because I'm a Chinese, but instead I have wavy hair and I don't know why it's like that. Not that I mind... but now my hair is damaged. Blah.
Ee Lynn told me to steam it. I told her that I never went to beauty palours. Oh wells.
Digitalrice is weird. It was very good when I started to use it, but then it became suckier and suckier. Then they took away the subdomain feature that I had (because I registered very early, when it was still not-so-famous), and now they made the URL to look something like out of Tripod with http://members.digitalrice.com/membername. Sheesh!
Did I mention that I was done with The 13th Warrior yesterday? Halfway through I guessed that it was focused around the myth of Beowulf, which I was encountered in Ancient Britain: Myths & Legends (the book which I didn't end up finishing at all because I lost interest after the first few legends), and I was a little disappointed because the story of Beowulf did not appeal to me at all when I read it in the myths book. But The 13th Warrior is written splendidly, and I liked how it is portrayed. If I had read it before I read the story of Beowulf in the myths book, I might have enjoyed The 13th Warrior... too bad it was the other way around.
Now I'm reading Prætorian by Thomas Gifford, also a rather thick book, and also a book from my brother's collection of second-hand books.
Ugh, computer froze again. I may have to reformat and reinstall everything into my computer if this carries on, because it'a mighty annoying to have a computer that can't even run for two hours without freezing.
But reinstalling my stuffs and backing up is a hell of a large job, since I literally keep all the crap in my computer.
That tracker isn't working well for me anymore. Bah! I removed it from most of my pages because it turned out with a broken image for a whole week or so, and I got annoyed with it.
The goodness of having Invisible Mode in ICQ. No one sees me online unless I let them... though there are occasional screwups on ICQ's part, it was okay. I hate people messaging me on random to know if I want to have cybersex with them. That's just so pathetic.
Or just use a non-girlish nickname. Ever since I used "midnighter" back a couple of years ago, people stopped bugging me so much because it sounds more masculine than feminine. Good enough for me!
Personally, I wouldn't care if the religious symbols of the cross and the pentagram. I would wear it all the same if if I really like them. That is, it were up to me, but unfortunately that would mean my parents and grandparents and all of other relatives breathing down my neck 24/7, which would be very annoying.
Heh, my parents aren't that religious. The only times when I listen to those taped Buddhist chants nonstop for hours is during funerals, especially the time when my grandfather passed away. I don't really know what to make of it. Most of the times it doesn't play a significant role to me, but sometimes it annoys me because it keeps on repeating and repeating and repeating, and it didn't help that all the incense was getting at my nose.
*grins* Yes, my nose is very sensitive to such things. I don't like heavy perfumes or colognes, and if anyone wear those I'll make sure I stand very, very far away from you.
Talking about that, I think the haze might have settled onto Malaysia again, or was it just my area? Today when I came out of school and walking to the car, the air looked incredibly blurry and dusty, and with each breath I take I had the urge to sneeze because the dust was irritating my nostrils. Bleh. Why does this have to happen every few months and crap? Just when I thought things are finally settling for the better, but no... it just has to start all over again.
Hehe, then Ling will have more than enough money to buy herself a lifetime supply of Nestle Milky Bars... and please, don't worry about diabetes too much, okay? I have it in my family (diabetes has something to do with genes too), and I've worried about it once a couple of years ago. Bleh, all those time spent worrying.
For some reason Slipknot's music isn't as noisy as I thought it would be. Hmm. Damn friends seemed to have led me to think so. *glares at peers*
Feeling incredibly annoyed at all the teachers in school at the moment. Why must teachers suck so much? Particularly the women teachers who are too bitchy for words. Even since I entered secondary school, I hadn't stumbled upon any men teachers who are jerks (there was a few in primary school, but that was history). Blah.
I'm fucking glad it's a Thursday and I won't be seeing any of them for the next two days. I can cope myself in my room and rot away.
I'm not feeling too good today. Ugh. I don't know why am I always sick. I always get sick no matter what. My immune system is shot, I guess. When was the last time I didn't feel pain, the last time I was actually comfortable living life?
Ugh, the PC technicians cleared all my cookies, and now I have to relogin into everything. >:O That annoys me a little, because I don't remember my password half the time.
Guess what is today's date on my computer? I just realized... it says it's Friday, January 04, 1980.
I wasn't even born then!
She's on break now too.
Hmm... that's not really Yahoo's search results, Ling. When someone search in Yahoo and doesn't get anything listed, Yahoo will immediately put the search query to Google, which is a spider and search... yes, well, almost everything. How Google works is that it sends a spider to each page, and another spider for each of the links on the page and so on, so it lists a lot of stuffs.
And yeah, you need to submit your site to be listed in Yahoo's directories.
Fucking Nedstats has popup ads now!
I'm listening to loud music (not literally loud, of course), and my brother hates those music. Thus, he told me to turn it down. The favorable volume is practically a whisper, and I can hardly hear anything. Ugh. Siblings! I know it's late and everything, and I know it's almost midnight, but this is not loud!
My computer just froze for the third time or something, and I'm really pissed because I was downloading from MP3's off Lele. Each time I got on again, it didn't let me resume!
I hate technology!!! BAH!
I bugged Kig to install a permanent linking system in his team weblog because I was so sick of not getting to link to any of the posts, and he finally did it! Hehe. Love you, Kiggy!
I haven't been blogging. Again. I feel like this weblog is getting stale too. Blah.
I suck. I guess the master of this trade goes to someone else now.
I received a couple of funny forwards from my friends... made me grin all right. Here's something to share (it concerns sex, so if you're sensitive about those jokes, you'd better skip this post)...
Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says I love you
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
A baby without a name
The baby is a bastard
The mother is a whore
This never wouldn't have happened
If the rubber hadn't tore
Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.
Holy mother, full of grace
Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his dick, the one I sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my mum happened to walk in
Bless the shit I'd be in.
Sex is when a guys communication
Enters a girls information
To increase the population
Ffor a younger generation
Do you get the information
Or do you need a demonstration?
Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...
Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with MEN!
Oh shit. I just realized that today is the 23rd. And I have to hand up my Biology research paper on contagious diseases on the 30th. And I did not start a single thing yet!
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!
Lauryn has a new layout, featuring Silverchair! Or rather, Daniel Johns, but Freak is a Silverchair song... hehe, go take a look at it!
Exactly my point. My relatives expect me to become a Buddhist too... but I'm never really anything. Not that anyone notice since I don't wear any religious things on me (though I still want the pentacle pendant! I love that!).
According to one of my Buddhist friends, there's only one "God" in Buddhism too, and that is the Goddess Kuan Yin... the others are just made-up by fanatics. Cults, they call them. *shrugs* I don't really know either ways, there's too many things that are twisted around these days, you hardly know what is the truth anymore.
Hehe, yeah. And mosquitoes are pretty annoying too... jeez, the stuffs we have to put up with, living in tropical places!
*itches*
So do I get a cookie? ;) Hehehe. I mean, even though I'm a 90-year-old serial rapist who knows the home addresses of a few other girls online (scared now? Muahahahaha...), I still get a cookie, right? Make it chocolate too...
Just kidding. Hehe.
If Ling had been born two months later than she was, she'd be 3 days younger than me and a fellow Cancer! ;) Instead, now she's older than me and a Taurean... *sighs* hehe, yes, I'm nuts about people's birthdates and stuffs... I like to find people with close birthdates to mine. Why?
*shrugs* I'm just awfully odd. Go figure.
My brother ICQ-ed me this link, telling me to check it out and that it would do me good. And here I am, still wondering what exactly he thought I should check out.
Umm... maybe the damn site would give me some inspiration of what I want to make of my future. Because at the moment, my future looks pretty bleak, you know what I mean? I see endless days passing by with me doing nothing more productive than sitting here, tapping away on the keyboards. Sheesh.
I have such a limited existance.
Do you realize the sudden decrease in posts? It means I'm getting better at staying away from the computer! Hehe. And what exactly have I been doing? Sleeping and reading. Both things that I need to catch up on.
I finished reading Michael Crichton's The Lost World (a secondhand book my brother bought from India). Yay for me for finishing another book. My reading speed has slowed down dramatically as of late. Blah. I don't know how I managed three or four of those super-thick books per day a couple of years back. Eekz. Must've been the lack of practice, and my attention doesn't hold on for long anymore.
Maybe they publish everything that is submitted? I haven't revisited that site since the first time I went. I don't know, something about the layout irks me then. Hmm...
I personally don't quite like burning incense or the whole rituals they do... I'm just interested in what they believe in. I'm registered as a Buddhist, but who knows. I don't really have my heart and soul in it. I'm agnostic at the moment.
The country is cooler than the city, but that only applies if we're having the same weather at the same moment. Blah. It's always hot these days. But compared to the last time I was in KL, I could've gotten a heat stroke!
But it doesn't seem to matter, huh? Literally everywhere we go is hot.
Although I'm taking 10 subjects... I don't think I've ever spent more than one hour per day studying. Or even two hours per week. *feels guilty*
It's not important, but it's annoying to be misunderstood.
Yeah, well, I admire those who can study for long periods. They study to pass the exams. I'm supposed to be doing that too, but I just don't have enough self-will. Zhi Ling is no study-holic; she's studying for the sake of exams. Which means she did, at least, as self-control. Even you admit that you have to study for exams. If it were up to me alone and I don't need to pass my exams, I wouldn't even bother studying. Hah!
Hrm. Class class class. I just skipped out on my Art class today. I bet the teacher is mad. But so what? She shouldn't even care so much, considering that I skipped it loads of times before and I got an 84% (A1) in the most recent paper.
Next up is Modern Mathematics for half an hour, followed by Biology for an hour and Chemistry for an hour before I'm finally free to go home, but my guess is that I won't be skipping any of them.
I can't afford to.
I submitted my diary to The Protagonist Ring yesterday. Yep, it's a webring for online diarists. Because we're all protagonists of our lives and journals. :)
I found this in my referal tracker. It was about DotComments. Heh. So far I'm pretty pleased with that script, although it got on my nerves while I was installing it. Rawr!
And there's nothing wrong with posting a lot. ;) It keeps your stalkers entertained.
Why is it that when I actually sleep earlier than usual, I get a fucking headache when I wake up? And it's not gone yet. It's pounding away in my brain.
Damn headaches!
Other than that, I'm feeling really bloated at the moment because I ate a lot during lunchtime, and then I went to tuition straightafter. Then when I got home 2 hours later, I ate a corn on the cob, some bananas, and drank a few full glasses of barley drink that my mom made today morning.
I have to start restricting myself when it comes to yummy things. Blah. Why do food and drink has to taste so good? It's just encouraging me to pile up on the calories!
I need to get my sleeping schedule back in order at least a few months before exams so that I don't get myself into so many health-related problems. I might as well start now.
Night everyone!
Never drink water before you go to bed. You might get waterbags, which are somewhat like eyebags but more permanent. The water collects underneath your eyes because you have too much liquid in your body, and form the sag-shaped area where most of the water collects at.
We all learn something new everyday, don't we? Yeah, I learned this today. I thought I might as well share it with all the cosmetically-ignorant people like me. We need to stick together, you know?
I personally think I have more chance on being a 90-year-old male from Malaysia than Lele has in being a 90-year-old male from New York. I mean, I'm using a home computer, my IP is basically the same with the whole nation, and I don't post up many pictures nor do I have a streaming webcam. And which 90-year-old male from New York studies in a some small fancy college anyway?!
What makes you think I'm not a 90-year-old male from Malaysia? For all you know, I might just be a 90-year-old male serial rapist too... except that I don't know if a 90-year-old man has the energy to be a serial rapist as well.
The Internet does bring on illusions... sigh. I don't know who to trust and who not to trust, and sometimes I wonder why people even bother to know me when in reality, the person you know online might not even be who I really am. What makes you so sure that I'm trustable?
I've always wondered, and I never got an answer.
I have a friend who is convinced that I have European blood running in my veins. It has nothing to do with my looks though, because as far as I'm concerned I look Chinese enough. It has to do with my heritage and my ancestors. Hubei people are supposedly have relations with the Europeans. Even our native dialect sounds like Europeans trying to speak Chinese.
Hmm... I wonder. I sincerely doubt it though. My dad doesn't look European either, and neither did my grandparents, who all are pure Hubei people. My grandparents were born in China. There is no proof that we have European blood. *smiles* And as long there is none, I guess I'll pass myself off as pure Chinese too.
Porn or not? Time for you to be the judge! Here is Samantha looking naked!
Hehe, like Lele says, "Click to see what's on below!"
Obviously through the net, where else? *laughs* I think he stumbled upon my website back somewhere in January... and asked me whether I really thought people who studied in Chinese school aren't good. What I meant was Kemaman Chinese-schooled people... argh, I only get along with 10% of them (get along! Sheesh... and maybe just 0.1% becomes my friends... err, they're sometimes a little too shallow for me to deal with when they're fawning all over the next cute guy that comes along), and then 50% of them are jerks. And the 40%? *shrugs*
I personally think that I should just trash my keyboard anyway, although it's relatively new. Not because of the faded keys, but I'm getting sick of having to tolerate the sticky keys and ram my finger down just to have it type out a damn letter.
I just noticed that there is quite a few keys on my keyboard that is now faded. It's supposed to be black symbols on white keys, but now it's getting gray, particularly the right shift key that's almost entirely worn away now. The other faded ones are the left and up arrows, the period key, C, D, L, M, N, and S.
Hrm.
I updated my diary early, and updated Expression as well. No, it's the same thing. If you read one, the other is just the same. Oh well. If you read it, you will understand why I included it in both places.
Things like these are the things I don't want lost amongst my diary entries.
I just had the most interesting Authorization Request on ICQ a moment ago. There was only one word typed out, and it was, "witch?"
Ah, that just heightened my curiousity. And of course I gave authorization right away. And when I checked my email a few minutes later, I received an invitation to join MyPagan's mailing list, a Malaysia-based Pagan group. It sounded really interesting, but I'm still wondering where the owner saw my claim to be a witch, or my believe in Paganism. I had always been interested in Wicca, but never really indulged myself in it because of a lot of reasons (one of them is my family).
Hmm... but the email pei@the-protagonist.net can only be found through my websites. So obviously it's not attained through ICQ. And the guy doesn't randomly advertized stuffs, I suppose. Because how else will someone knows that much about me?
Jeez. I said I was getting off the computer an hour ago, and I'm still not off it yet. Blah!
But I'm posting at the boards... ugh, I've been slacking so much in so many departments. I need to get everything back in order.
I'm really tired and sleepy at the moment. I think I'll just get off the computer and do something to take my mind off my boredom. But I'll probably be back later on since I have something to do for school.
School sucks.
Haha. Li Chin called up my cellphone (I'm online, remember? My phone's engaged... *grins*) all the way from the airport to say hi since she won't be at school tomorrow. Aww...
These days are so frickin' hot! Why can't the damn sky cloud over and give me a cooling day for once? I'm sweating like crazy, and I'm indoors!
What a coincidence that I'm working on my Biology project, and it's about conjuctivities. Bleh, the teacher wants the research paper by the end of this month, and that's less than ten days away! *freaks*
Come to think of it, I might not even have time to dedicate to my website much this year. I have to deal with a lot of school things (which is pretty much taking over my whole life now that SPM is only a few months away) since I'm involved in a lot of activities that require time and work and also my studies and millions of tests after tests, and also Dad wanting me to type out all of his documents and make a website for one of his products he's selling.
I'm busy busy busy, and I'm losing control of my own life! Help!!!
I need to get my priorities back in order. I know I have to. My studies is slacking really badly now, and that should've been my top priority too because if I flunked SPM, I might as well kiss college goodbye. I'd have to waste another year of my life to retake SPM. Blah. I do not want that!
I'm envious of Zhi Ling. How on earth did she manage to get everything so perfectly in order yet able to study 10 hours per day? Whoa. I'm freaked. No doubt she'll be one of the best students in her school. Bleh.
Maybe I just spent too much time in front of the computer. The time I spend here could've been used for other purposes, you know.
Yesterday I had an idea for a new layout for Divination (which is currently on hiatus and bugged by many, many people to put it up again), but maybe I have to forget about it. The layout, I mean. Sigh. It's a cutesy one, if you're wondering what was on my mind. I'm not all for cutesy layouts for my site (I like it when I see it on other people's sites, but somehow I don't think it would stick with the title "Divination"), but I thought I could use it.
Blah. Like I said, I might have to come up with a new idea and trash this one.
Jeez. A proof that conservative Chinese in Malaysia is pretty terrible when it comes to stuffs like these. They believe absolutely all the craps dished out by some spiritualist.
They need a goddamn life. Those two adults can make their own decisions to marry or not, thank you very much. The guy is sweet for not pressing charges against the family. If it had been me, I would've flown off the handle, love or not.
Yes, I'm one crazy girl. Not only that, I'm a crazy girl with a fiery temper.
I didn't get online yesterday night after I came home... I was feeling too crappy to deal with it. Blah. Now I'm up and awake, a little bit blurry, but still feeling like crap.
C'est la vie.
She linked me and Lele! Aww... thankies girl! Hehe, I'll surf your site as soon as I come back... cause I'm supposed to be going out now. Hehe.
Guys of the World: Europeans guys has the witty tongue, American guys has the fast-paced life, Asian guys has the boyish charm, Australian guys has the sexy voice! *mwah*
Bah! Damn IE keeps on crashing, and I don't know what to do! I don't have Netscape or Opera either... what should I do now? Reboot? Close all windows? Throw the computer out of the window?
Nice new layout! He's good! I never saw red looking better. Hehe.
Yeah, I hate those virus too. The damage may not be much, but it's annoying as heck. Bleah. That reminds me, I need to update my Norton AntiVirus' virus definitions.
Aww.... Kig is in a "bitchy" mood? And here I was thinking that only girls get into bitchy moods. Hehe. But anyway, go vote for him and make him happy!
What makes it even more freaky is that the person who used to attend your primary school and signed your guestbook is also someone on my ICQ contact list. Eekz!
Here I was thinking that he doesn't go online anymore when he's in Singapore (that's what he tells me). Hmph!
*damns Samantha's weblog*
Of all the time for you to be down... >:O
My brother sucks. Just when I finished the damn herbal soup or tea or whatever it is, he pours me another cup and demands me to drink it. And this time he fills it to the brim.
He is crazy!
What a coincidence that I cut my nose today too (or rather, yesterday). For the first time in my life.
Heh. To figure out the installation problem of Awdang's journalling script alongside Samantha, I installed a copy in my own directory at The-Protagonist.Net and it launched correctly! So I don't really know how to figure out the problem when I don't stumble upon it... =Þ
So now I have a journalling script in my directory and no use of it. Hrm. Should I delete it to free up the space or let it be in case one day I want to use it I don't have to bother myself installing it all over again?
Damn thing isn't uploading correctly again! Bah!
Hate. Hate. Hate.
Looking good, Steph! I like the small graphic and the way the tables are placed. Although the no-line-spacing between the posts makes it hard to read, but in whole the layout is nice!
*coughs and chokes* Ugh. I still don't like the taste of it, so I'm drinking in large gulps. The good thing is that it's really warm, so you can hardly really taste it 100% unlike when it's cold.
Oh, okay, so it's supposed to be a soup, not tea. Eww... something that looks like tea but is actually soup. Yesterday my brother was actually insane enough to put in salt! Which just makes the whole thing yuck. Bleh.
But today's tastes a hell lot better.
Ack! My tastebuds are dead!
Remember yesterday's herbal tea? Yuckers. I melted some rock sugar with water and then mised it in, but I didn't get around to drinking it by morning, so before I went to school I put it into the fridge. I took it out again now because they said they were going to force feed me the tea if I don't drink it willingly.
And Chin Siang is brewing another pot today. Bleh. Does that mean I need to drink two cups today?
Macs are actually very good for producing high-quality images. A lot of graphic designers prefer Macs over PCs because of that. It's just that PC supports the most programs, so it's better for oridinary usage. But graphics... Macs definitely.
You know, Lele, maybe you can complain of some psychological disorder to the dean, saying that every time you see someone else in your room, you feel the urge to take out a knife and stab them. Surely then they'll be more than happy to give you a single room, yes? ;)
Oh well, either that or off to the loony bin you go. *grins* Is it worth it to make the attempt? It's some kind of paranoia, I think. I'm possessive of my personal space as well, and I don't like people coming into my room. Hehe.
Currently helping out Mimi with her tables problems (she's making a fan site). She's the one who dubbed me "The Tables Goddess" last year. Sheesh, Mimi, how long was it the last time you typed out HTML codes? Hehehe. Haven't talked to you in a while, girlie. And come back soon into the personal website world, you hear? I miss your site!
I'm happily enjoying a bar of Snickers right now. Hehe. Chocolate makes me happy! Although it probably has millions of calories and all that in it... um... I don't really mind? ;) Fuck weight problems for now. Bah!
I'm editing the archives through FTP, can you believe that? Jeez! And I still need to click on the republish buttons one just one since "Republish All" doesn't seem to like me much at the moment. Dargh!
Why is my weblog so retarded? It's not having any archives although I have republished about 5 times or more. It just won't have it! *pissed off*
I'm sick, I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I still have to work. Oh joy. The teachers love me so.
Whoopdeedoo... and I have to get off the computer now and go into class. *mwahs*
That goes without saying, wouldn't it? I thought you would know better than to step on the thumbtacks. ;)
Oh yeah, 128kbps ISDN rocks, but not worth the money paid. Bleh. The connection sucks, period, but not as sucky as my home's dailup anyway.
For some reason, Blogger wouldn't publish correctly. I mean, even when it had finished uploading the files, it keeps on saying "transferring file(s)..." nonstop! Bah! I never know when it finished uploading my stuffs or not, and when it finish publishing!
Anyway, concerning about the "coincidence or not" post, I actually meant that it's a coincidence we're all friends as well as diarists (and now as well as hosted at the same domain)... I must admit that before I started posting at the boards, I didn't really have many diarists friends since most of them are more focused on designing personal websites. Hehe.
But either ways, I love the concept of the domain. At first I thought the domain name was only meant to represent the title of your journal, but perhaps we're really all protagonists and we don't know it. ;)
While I was wondering if everyone had decided to hate me and my weblog since they didn't bother to comment anything *sobs* when I just installed the new comment thingy here, I went over the BLOGGED as usual to check on the posts, and Lauryn posted about the error on my weblog when they click on comment. Oops!
Hehe, it's fixed now. Thank Lauryn! I wouldn't have noticed otherwise... or at least not until I decided to test it out myself, which might take me weeks to click on them. *sheepish grin*
Oh yeah... all of the old comments are gone. Lost. Because it had always been with BlogVoices... therefore when I change this to DotComments, the old comments are gone.
Oh my, Christianity really does astounds me sometimes. While it's a romantic and sweet thought to have your first kiss on your wedding day on the altar, your husband being the only one who you ever love/kiss/slept with... isn't that kind of freaky in this era?
Is that valid in every other religion as well? O.o
Okay, it's done! Finally!
If you're wondering what I just did, I took out BlogVoices and installed in its place DotComments, which is why now the file extensions is .php instead of .shtml like before. The old .shtml files is still on my server, so it would work if you did a permanent linking to one of my files back then.
To comment, click on "start a war?" link. Hehe.
I do not know how to work with PHP. Now the damn thing is giving me the funniest errors. Like telling me to download my weblog, or giving my internal server errors, etc etc etc. Jeez!
Since Lele is bugging me about the comments number thingy, I'm going to try out another method of whatever this is. Blah. Damn BlogVoices for doing this to me!
You know, the errors I'm getting every time I post something makes my weblog a blank page is making me jittery when I post. Blah. I don't want it to error out on me again!
I wonder if it's only occuring with my stupid weblog, or it's occuring to everyone who is using Blogger. Let's hope this problem won't last, because it might just make me stop blogging altogether. It's really getting on my nerves too. Blah.
And the damn keyboard isn't cooperating with me when I type. Why is everything going wrong today?!
We've got something kinda funny going on... because Dizzily.Net doesn't work for Lele! Hehe... that's kinda weird, don't you think?
Oh yeah, in case you don't know yet, Lele finally moved her journal to The-Protagonist.Net, and we also have a new addition into the neighbourhood... Samantha being our newest neighbour! Lauryn is really doing a good job looping the diarists into one domain... what a coincidence we're all diarists?
Wheeee!
Ling Ling, no need to be so sensitive about the server. Although it's stupid, it's still working, at least. Hehehe. I think the problem now is Blogger's problem... or maybe Blogger hates your host and will not cooperate? Hehehehe. Who knows. All I know is that something went wrong in the middle of uploading. Weirdness.
After getting the stupid error for the past five messages I posted, and my weblog still being a blank page, I decided to poke around in the FTP log to find out what was the problem.
STOR weblog/2001_04_15_archives.shtml
150 Opening BINARY mode data connection for weblog/2001_04_15_archives.shtml.
......
226 Transfer complete.
TYPE I
200 Type set to I.
PORT 64,41,146,215,11,162
200 PORT command successful.
STOR weblog/archives.shtml
150 Opening BINARY mode data connection for weblog/archives.shtml.
226 Transfer complete.
TYPE I
200 Type set to I.
PORT 64,41,146,215,11,176
200 PORT command successful.
STOR weblog/index.shtml
150 Opening BINARY mode data connection for weblog/index.shtml.
ERROR: Couldn't create data socket. Accept failed: 2992, java.io.InterruptedIOException: Accept timed out
QUIT
ERROR: Error reading from the control connection!
Did you realize that only the index page was unable to be uploaded? So if you ever encountered that problem again and want to view my weblog, just type out http://goddess.h-y-p-h-e-n-s.net/weblog/archives.shtml in your location bar and click on the lowest link, being the latest week's worth of post.
Um... okay, I think I figured out why there's a blank page for my weblog. Some kind of transfer error while Blogger is trying to upload my files for me through FTP caused it.
I know! I'll sneak downstairs and mix sugar in the herbal tea thing. It might ruin the whole concept, but still. Haha. At least I'm someone who never resist anything sweet. ;)
I think I'm going to get diabetes soon. Heh.
My whole family is expecting me to drink something that smells suspiciously like gula melaka (coconut sugar?), looks like cincau (wheatgrass tea?), and taste like water plus salt. Bleh. It's some herbal tea that's supposed to be good for health. According to my brother (he's the one who's dating a girlfriend who is the daughter of one of the herbalists in Kuantan), it's supposed to make your hair stronger, your complexion smoother, and lessen your weight. Hrm?
I don't know if I'm willing to sacrifice my tastebuds for all that. Drinking a concotion that I'm not sure what it is made of is not one of my favorite things to so. It's not like I care so much for my looks, right? Heh.
Yay! Kig gave me a POP email at Dizzily.Net... isn't he a sweetie? Hehe. Go and hug him for me when you see him around. *grins* Now you may email me at pei@dizzily.net (pei@the-protagonist.net is a forwarding email)! Forget about midnighter@softhome.net... I've used it for two years or so, and somehow lately it's getting really sucky. Blah.
Screw you, SoftHome! Woohoo!
My brother is cracking me up. He's punctuating each of his sentences with a strum of the guitar, and he's making up lyrics spontaneously as he goes along. Haha!
He could sing one of those comedy songs. *grins*
Hah, okay, it works again. Surprising how the moment I get online after the whole day not getting online everyone suddenly messages me and yells at me about my "blank-page" weblog. Um... okay, it's back up again. No need to get rough now.
Heh.
Blogger is being a whore. Everyone tells me that they're getting a blank page on my weblog! *sobs*
It's been a long time since I last used the computer in school. This must be the first time in months. The first time this year, that's to be sure! Somehow, I've always felt like I'm an intruder when I use the school computer. Hrm.
What a waste of the 128kbps ISDN line.
Bleh. I'm too tired to stay up anymore after staring at the screen for so long. I think I'll just go read something and go to sleep already. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.
You know what is strange? I tested out the search engine for my diary (hehe, the thanks goes to Lauryn for all the cool stuffs), and it seems to only search the old entries. *scratches head* Wonder what's wrong with it.
How on earth can it be possible that four brand new pens suddenly decide to die on you in a space of half an hour? All four. This is nuts! I just bought them two weeks ago, and I didn't even started using them yet!
Wheeeeeeee... new layout at BLOGGED! It's yellow sunflowers this time, on top of pale yellow background... you know, I've always been obsessive with white background because they just look nicer than any other (save for black, which is just as good). But now that I see pale yellow being used... it doesn't look that bad! And the layout looks really sweet too!
I'm wondering... did Lauryn go layout-happy or something? Because not so long ago the summer layout was launched... hehe.
Tired tired tired tired tired. I just spent a few hours whipping out two different layouts for the school website (and tackling frames as well as tables... I haven't used frames in such a long time, I'm almost forgetting how to) and editing the graphics again and again, which I should bring to school tomorrow to show it to Teck Leong, and we'll decide on which to use. And then I'll have to put in the contents... which is not typed out yet by the way!
Darn, why on earth did I blog about chocolates? Reading it again is making me hungry now. Bleh.
And so, I rummaged around the fridge for something to eat, and I found a small bar of VanHouten Whole Fruit & Nuts with Milk Chocolate. Hehe, this will do to wake me up good.
Bleh, I hope I don't wake up with a keyboard-printed face. That might be one of the worse thing to happen to anybody. And who knows what might happen next... I mean, it's entirely possible for me to black out and fall face forward into the keyboard.
And judging by how many times I've been yawning for the past minute, I might stay in that position for a very, very long time.
Oh gosh, I am so *yawns* sleepy... all of the sudden, I realize that. Haha. But I need to stay awake... *yawns* I really... really... do...
Ever wondered if your class teacher... *ahem* ex-class teacher might be a vampire undercover? Hehe. Fangs is not good. Not good at all. =Þ
Okay, at the moment my butt really does hurt a lot from sitting down too long. And my eyes hurt from the dryness and from staring at the monitor for too long. But I can't quit now, I have a layout to complete!
Bah, I have a phonecall to make, but that would require me to disconnect, which I can't because I have to download some programs and stuffs for the darn website.
Haha, I don't know about you, Lele, but if anyone in my family ever stumble upon anything that's entitled "The Satanic Bible" in my computer, my parents are going to keep me grounded for life and make sure I get a proper psychiatrist. I may not be religious, but I'm sure as heck my parents would be darn scared if their teenage daughter started reading stuffs like those.
Blah... waiting for things to download on my lousy connection is a total pain in the ass. Seriously. I've been waiting for ages!
Oooohhh... so far the top number of visitors to my weblog in a day is 69. *waggles eyebrows*
Hehe.
I'm tackling two books at once right now. One is Michael Crichton's The Lost World at home, and another is Danielle Steel's Wings in school. I bet you're wondering why all the fuss. Well... the Danielle Steel book is only available to me in the school's library, and I never ever borrowed any books from there before. I don't have a library card, and I can't be bothered to get one. So whenever I was bored and dropped by the library, I would just pick up that book and read it.
And while we're at it, I'll be truthful: I used to think Danielle Steel wrote about sex and romance and stuffs like that. There is just something about the name "Danielle Steel" that made me think that way. They said don't judge a book by its cover, but right now I'm already judging books by the author's name. Haha.
Personally, "gigolo" kind of sound like something funny and clumsy. Like a clown. Maybe it's just because it bears such a great resemblance with the word "giggle". Haha.
Speaking of clowns, I have this irrational childhood fear of clowns with their painted white face and big red grin and weird colorful hair. I think that's why I hated the movie IT (based on Stephen King's IT) when I saw it years ago.
Hmm... the webcam shot of the present you got is kind of blurry. But anyway, I thought you are going to take a webcam shot of your dog? You never did. Hmph!
Why am I always doing things the opposite way around? I'm supposed to write a descriptive essay, but I ended up with a narrative one. And I made the narrative into a descriptive.
Go figure. I'm not redoing the damn thing.
I'm supposedly multi-tasking (writing an essay for English, making a layout for the school's website, weblogging, downloading some stuffs, and chatting) at the moment, but the computer is so slow! Blah. I need more RAM. Who the hell still work on 32MB RAM these days?!
I should get off the computer at 3am if I do not want to get caught by my father.
Fucking ICQ SMS does not work with fucking TMtouch. Fuck. I sent three test messages to my cellphone, which failed. And then I sent two messages to my brother's cellphone, which supposedly has been successfully sent but is still not recieved by him!
Damn ICQ. Damn Telekom. Bah!
As stupid and superficial and fake the Sweet Valley series are (not everyone is movie-like pretty for one, not everyone go through such dramatic episodes for two, and a lot of other reasons), I admit Francine Pascal had been right about one thing.
Getting backstabbed by your closest friends hurts a hell lot, and there's a possiblity you may never recover from that initial shock.
Lawyers were once children too... in a way lawyers are so different from children, they seem to be from another planet. Children are supposedly innocent to the world, but a lawyer knows all the dirty tricks and saw the worst of the worst in courts and stuffs like that. But we tend to forget that they were once children, they were once innocent to the world, and they were once those that doesn't know a single thing or experience the harshness of the world.
So in a way, it's true.
Blah, I keep on forgetting that I'm connected on FTP, and then when I finally remembers, it tells me that I've been disconnected because I've been inactive for 300 seconds. It has happened five times in a row, and it's pissing me off!
Argh!
Haha... everyone is telling me to get some sleep. Some things may change, but others really do stay the same.
Heh, Lele, I have that conversation saved somewhere. You want it?
Contrary to popular belief, most Asians do not have slanted eyes... and the drawing of Mulan in the Disney cartoon does not look chinese, I am sorry to say. I wonder where that slanted-eyes stereotype came from.
Asians are supposedly classified as Mongoliod, which is defined to have double-lidded eyes and dark irises, black hair, and considerably flat facial features. So no, most of us don't have single-lidded eyes either.
Where the fuck did all those stereotypes come from?!
Hehe, I think we're forming a circle of webloggist chat. Starring Lele (blogging on her host's team weblog), Samantha, Stephanie, and I. Hehe. A lot of what we say is pretty much related to what each other is saying. ;)
I find the world and its people very shallow. Why are most of the problems people are so focused on is always love problems? I don't mind family problems because let's face it, family is probably plays the biggest role in one's life. Well, mostly.
But still, why are people more focused on love problems rather than family problems? I personally think that family problems is a bigger issue, and a more complex one, and harder to solve because you're attached to your family legally (even if you're not blood-related). And most of the love problems are always the same scenario, and all of them are just downright superficial.
It's stupid. Seems problematic, but stupid.
H-Y-P-H-E-N-S.net is down again. Or at least the FTP is down, because I can't upload anything. And I was in the middle of uploading something!
As far as I know, weirder things have happened. A lot of guys are hosted at domains with girlish names... don't ask me why though! It just seems odd to me. Hehe.
Oh my God, could that be a coincidence? Hahahaha. They're getting you all prepped up for marriage already! Don't you wonder how they all know? ;)
Samantha, do you hear wedding bells for Stephanie? Hehe.
*snorts* I suck at giving advices. First of all, who is going to listen to a 16-year-old girl who lives in a suburban area all her life, hadn't seen much of the world, and is leading a messy, pathetic life herself?
Anyway, after a painful conversation with a certain friend of mine and her saying sarcastically "Who are you to talk? You haven't even experienced this yourself!" right there in front of everyone, being helpful by giving advices flew out of the window. Why do I give a fuck what happens to everyone else? It's not like they actually listen when I give advices. And it's not like I know what I'm talking about, so she's right in a way.
The truth is bitter. Who am I to say anything?
I agree, a little drama for you wouldn't be that bad. Hehehe. At least you'd have things to write about in your weblog, journal, and you wouldn't claim your life to be boring anymore.
And my dear, examples of chromeless popups can be found in Ling's and Cessy's sites (what, you think I'm gonna offer free-linking to those sites that sucks? Of course these are good sites, and they're the ones I willingly tolerate through with the chromeless popups). They're quite cool at the first time you look at them, or the first ten times, but after a hundred times or more, you get sick and tired of seeing them in every single site you go to. Heh.
Therefore I shall rest my case. Long live tables, although they give me a headache.
Oh my, Thom is getting married to Samantha next year? Where would that leave poor Chjo?
While we're at it, Lele, I think it's time for us to seek out the possibilities on the horizon. We would want to know who our grooms are, wouldn't we? Unless, that is, it's some kind of twisted blind wedding (you know, something like blind dates but is a wedding instead). Let's go and scoop out some sexy bodies! ;)
I'm supposed to be busy creating my school's website now because it's supposed to be all done and ready by Wednesday, but... argh. I have an idea of how it should look like, but creating it is the problem here.
Expression is still updated, by the way. Or will be, once in a long while. I don't write or paint that much anymore.
Blah. Form Five sucks. Taking 10 subjects sucks.
By the way, if I ever creep you out with any of my sudden name search... don't be. Heh. The only time I do a name search on myself is when I get a referral from there. That is, when someone does a name search on me. I'm normally not that free to go and do myself a name search. I only do it occasionally, just to see what the people are searching for, and what they found. ;)
I haven't discovered the sixth sense in me, so don't worry yet. I can't read minds. Hehe.
Did you know that TMnet is charging 3 sen per minute instead of the original 2 sen for their dail-up Internet connection? Probably only the newest of the new users knows this. They never told us old subcribers. No one knew. Why I know? Because the other day the salesman for TMnet, trying to promote the service, came to our school and gave a speech. He made 3 sen sound so cheap, when all the time the bloody bastards had lead us all to believe the rate is still 2 sen per minute. Who the hell in their right mind would pay extra for the sucky service they're having now?
But they should've told us. They should've, and they didn't. That's where they stumbled, and that's the mistake they make that will trip them up someday. I am so disgusted by their services now. They really do think the customers owe them a million bucks, when they're the ones who are supposed to please us paying customers because we're the one who are going to keep them alive.
That's how they treat customers, eh?
Well, I think a lot of the online journallers are pretty paranoid one way or another... hey, I used to go under an online alias! I'm paranoid too, but not paranoid enough I guess. Or maybe it's just that I don't give a damn if they tripped their way to my diary somehow, since it would take them some searching to do.
But if they did get there, it would be too obvious to deny it since all of their names is clearly stated there.
*sob* And here we were wondering what the hell happened to you!
My younger brother is watching one of those pathetically-translated Japanese cartoons on TV. I don't mind the cartoon translated since not everyone knows Japanese (and neither do I), but I wish they wouldn't use the whiny voice that they probably think is "cute".
But it's just plain annoying, that's what it is.
Bah! Now I'm getting weird ass Javascript errors on my weblog. What the heck is wrong with it?!
I'm hiccupping for the first time in ages. Ack, I hate the weird noises I make!
Who needs newspapers when your siblings remember the TV Guide?
Something I wrote a few months back and forgot about it. I didn't know it was listed in that advice page until today when Google happily returned a search on my name.
Pei Vern ( 16 ) -- Thursday, December 21, 2000: one question: do you want to spend the rest of your life with a guy you're not even sure how he feels about you? marriage is a serious thing. it's a commitment as well as a relationship. you two need to work this out. some guys like freedom and space, and a jealous girlfriend might just make him clam up all the more about his troubles. i don't know Gary personally, so i'm not to judge him or anything. you do. and you need to resolve this. you need to tell him about your worries (but don't play a blame game). if he cares about you and the relationship you're sharing now, he will try to fix it. or at least give you some reassurances. btw, the "not understanding one another" part, just to say that understanding plays a big role in relationships.
I don't go there anymore. I don't visit problematic people's pages anymore. I don't give advices anymore.
I'm just not used to giving advices to total strangers.
Haha, I totally forgot about my X-Men Genetic Mutation! I'm listed here. Hehe.
I suppose it's not impossible for a person to study 10 hours a day . But it is impossible for me to study 10 hours a week! Or even a month, come to think of it.
*bows down to Zhi Ling*
Have you ever watched a friend fall, and know with a deep dread that you're just too far away to catch them? And you know that even if you try to achieve the impossible, they will stubbornly push you away?
A case of when your best is just not enough. How depressing.
In times like this, I wonder if I will just fall beside the friend too, and wait beside them. Wait for whatever that they are waiting for before they are willing to get up again. Even when they won't accept my help to get up, or my hands to catch their fall... they can't deny me accompanying them. Or to sit beside them. Or to hold their hand. Or to lend an ear.
I probably would.
My eyes ache from the dryness in the air. The heat outside can kill, although it's supposed to be evening already. My brain is numb from the fatigue from the screwed up body-clock.
You know, I should've been born on the other side of the Earth.
I'm experiencing some trouble sending messages through ICQ. It won't send! So if I don't reply you, that doesn't mean I've forgotten you. It just means my ICQ is fucked up and I don't know what to do.
After all, I do treat friends as one of my top priorities. So you're most likely not forgotten. ;)
Somewhere along the way the fine lines between normal human sleeping time and normal human waking time has sorta blurred for me. So I became vampirish, almost. Sleep in the morning and stay up all night. And right now, I have a duty to do in the morning (that is, school), yet have a habit to keep at night. So I'm seriously slacking off quality time with my bed and comforter.
Blah, I'm having a headache again.
Oops... Dad's awake, and found me still up at this time!
I'd better go now.
Do you know that each time I see a chromeless popup, I would groan a mental, "Oh no!"
Yes, that's how much I dread them. Heh. Did you ever wonder why I did not even bother experimenting with them? It gets boring when the last ten sites you went to uses it. But some sites has cool uses for them, so I tolerate. *shrugs*
Oh dear, my statistics had indeed fucked up now. Haha. Read this:
Forecast for today
On average 15 percent of the daily visits are made before 3:41. Based on the number of visitors of 48 today so far, today your site may have 319 page views (+/- 39).
319!!! That's a hell lot, you know. And I bet it won't reach anywhere near that either, because I rarely get 48 visitors in 4 hours time. Somehow the tracker messed up at the beginning! Hehe. Oh well.
For some reason I can't get anything but a blank page when I go to The Protagonist Cam Portal's second page. Is it just me or what?
Oh yeah, here's an update for those who care (if there's any now, after all this time):
I bugged my dad to call PC Partner again today. He did, and the Kemaman branch gave us the usual hoodlum. So my dad decided to take matters into his own hands, searched the yellow pages for the telephone numbers, and phoned long-distance to KL to give a good trashing to the main headquarters of PC Partner at the low quality of customer service and support here in Kemaman.
I love my dad, and he does such stuffs for me which makes me feel really guilty because I'm an obviously less-than-perfect daughter. But as for the status quo of my computer, I don't even know if it's still alive, kidnapped, or dead. Sigh.
I had thought it was only me who was paranoid when Ling suddenly disappeared and made no updates, and no appearances in mIRC, ICQ, or AIM. But then again, who am I to talk when I haven't been online much lately either.
Then Samantha ICQ-ed me and asked if I've seen Ling online lately. And then Lele AIM-ed me to ask me the same question. And then it sank down that she hasn't been online at all, since none of us had seen her.
Oh my. Where are you, Ling Ling?
And now he turns off the lights again. I think he's an even worst insomniac than I am, since he wanted to sleep but can't. Hmm... it's late now, and I have tests tomorrow (despite being Easter Sunday and all). Chemistry and Add Math.
Do you think I should try for an all nighter, study, or just sleep?
Haha, not fifteen minutes ago my brother closed his lights to retire for the night. Well, he snapped them on again.
Did my tap-tap-tapping on the keyboards get on his nerves? *innocent smile*
Okay, so you're still alive. We can chalk that up as Kig's fault because he was the one who changed servers. Heh. But she had not been updating too!
What is it with your college girls in that area?
Even I, the Goddess of Not-Uploading-Her-Journal-Entries-On-Time-Everyday, at least blogs everyday in here. At least you know I'm still alive. Right?
She had not written for some time. Hmm, I'm getting worried. It did not help that I can't log onto AIM because once again it fucked up on me in times of need. I should've known better than to trust technology in my times of desperation, yes? But I can't exactly fly over to USA and knock on her door to find out if she's still alive or not. Unless someone is willing to fund me, I don't see how either.
Where are you, Lele? I missed your daily ramblings!
Blah, I don't know why everyone likes to flip my ponytail when I have my hair up! Oh, my brother is worse; he likes to pull off the rubber band that holds my hair up, and makes me re-tie my hair. Either that, or scrape his fingers over the top of my head just to mess up my hair. >:O
Black and dark blue. My my, are you one dark person or what? It would hardly matter if your fingernails get dirty, since you can't see them. Heh.
My fingernails had been nailpolish-less since the day I was born. Oh yea. ;)
Don't worry, Steph; we'll throw a singles party the eve of your wedding! ;) Even if you're the first of us to get married. And whenever that Thursday is going to be, just inform us, okay? Hehe.
Hmm... I just went over to Sedaya College's website to search for the intake for year 2001 because my brother requested the few minutes it took. Well, we found the intake date. But unfortunately, we also found out that the dentistry course he wanted took up 6.5 years. It left him pretty much discouraged, though he tried his best not to let it show. He had been out from Form 6 for over almost four months (maybe more?), and I know he's itching to get back to studying so that he can get out in the world sooner, work sooner, and repay my parents for everything they had done for him.
I hate to see him saddened and discouraged. But I don't know how to console him without letting him know that I saw that look on his face that he tries so hard to hide from me, from our parents. So I play along and pretend nothing is out of order.
But it still hurts to know that he is also so uncertain of his future, just like me. That was probably why it hurts; the fact that he resembles me and how I'm feeling so much. The confusion of what college or university to go to. The worry about the financial problem it might cause our parents. But what hurts most is the knowledge deep inside that he, the brother that I had trusted most and depended on most, is in a worse situation than I am. He is already out of Form 6 while I still have more than half a year of Form 5 to tackle and survive through. I didn't need to worry much yet. He had made it through the worst of the worst of teenager schooling, and now he's stuck in the rut. He have to make a decision soon no matter what. Not me.
And that makes me feel even worse for him.
Ahh... I'm finally getting personal emails! Heh, I did not notice how I missed them until I received two today, from Lee Lian and Wee Kiat. Blah, it's actually directed to the whole clique, the ones we knew back from Primary 1. We are going to do this until we meet up again at the end of the year. How I missed them all!
If only things are as simple as they were when we were all seven-year-olds.
I declare today a feasting day. I've been eating since I woke up! Um... I ate ice cream, some durian, a few pieces of Toblerone, apple dipped in rojak sauce, and now eating M&M's. Hehe.
And I'm going to eat lunch in a few minutes.
Hrm, you know what? That wedding date predictor is programmed to make every wedding date it predicts to fall on a Saturday. :)
Hahahahahaha... oh my gosh, this is so hilarious. According to The Wedding Date Predictor, I'm getting married on Saturday, August 31, 2002! Did you know that August 31st is Malaysia's Independance Day? *grins* Everyone in the whole nation will be celebrating with me!
*ahem* Back to the marriage thingy, here's the data Emode collected about me:
Social Factors - 7/10
On the social front, you are pretty serious marriage material. As you read this, forces beyond your control are aligning to put you on the altar with Mr. Right. It's you, girl. Your number is up, and someone out there is just dying to pop you the question. There's no need to book a flight to Vegas, but you might want to start thinking about your wedding gown.
Emotional Factors - 3.5/10
Emotionally, you seem to show some inner hesitations about marriage. C'mon, you didn't think you could hide it from us, did you? You've got what it takes to make the plunge, but you seem to want a little more time. There is something more than the "jitters" at work here. Maybe you just want to enjoy your single status for a little longer. Go for it, Honey, and tell them Emode says it's OK.
Sexual Factors - 6/10
You have very few sexually motivated reasons for avoiding marriage. Of course, the carefree single life can pose a strong attraction, but you probably prefer the thought of devoting yourself to one person. It's true that there are a lot of unsolved mysteries out there, but once you've found the right person, it's time to close shop. Congratulations on having the strength and security to know what's right for you.
Oh wow, you're getting married next year too? Heh. Who's the groom? Or need I ask that? ;)
Hehe. Sure, why not. I'll write that down in my organizer: "September 21, 2002: Samantha's Wedding Day".
Oh well, at least you know that the dark eye circles doesn't come from the lack of greens in your diet. Hehe. And my nails are not brittle, so they might as well scrape that idea off too, since I don't eat veggies either.
Oops, I think I created a monster. Heh. I used to be the one bugging her to blog more, and now she's the one bugging me to blog more!
You have yet to fix your guestbook link from your /xit page. Hehe.
Married at 17? Whoa!
Be sure to invite your friends (*ahem* me!) to your wedding. If you didn't call me yet at June 8th next year, I'll stalk you down. Muahahahahahaha.
Do you know that ear-digging is a form of pleasure-inducing acts? ;)
Oh, and if your ear drums had burst, I think it would bleed. I dunno, from some books that I read, it said it would bleed. But I shall not clarify that yet, until further research. Hehe. Perhaps the pressure in your ears is just uneven in the inside and the outside, making it hard to hear.
I just stay up until my body and mind feels too whacked up to stay up anymore, and then I'll crash in bed. Or else I'll just probably be staring at the darkened ceiling for hours before I drift off the sleep. I don't know if that's defined as insomnia, but that's one of the ways to beat it without swallowing any drugs that induces sleep.
But you're right, sometimes I do stay up until the time I have to go to school. Then I... go to school. *shrugs*
And I'd probably be really silent and sullen when he's around, avoid every public place that is not mine (which is everywhere except for my bedroom), and gradually stop using the computer.
And my parents will complain that I am being rude. Blah.
Bleh. Mom just told me that my cousin (and Mindy's brother) Kenny is coming to our house today. And he might be living with us from now on, and working for my father. Like I said again and again, I don't like strangers in my house. Not even strangers who are supposedly related to me. And he's a stranger enough.
What makes it worse that he's a silent stranger. And we all know that silent strangers are the worst of the worst.
Cessy made a button for her for not for me! *sob* How unfair life is... but even though she's a meanie like that, visit her anyway because she has a new, utterly fabulous layout up!
My godmother just came a moment ago and hand my mom something, and she saw me sitting in front of the computer eating ice cream. And she started lecturing me about eating ice cream too much, especially in the morning.
What wrong with eating ice cream in the morning?!
Enjoying chocolate ice cream to start off the day with! Yum!
And yes, I'm also kind of wondering why I'm up so early on a Saturday. This is just not me!
My stomach still hurts from the cramps, and I wonder how am I supposed to survive through today with the nurmerous physical activity lined up for me. But... I... will... survive!
Oh, and I'll get help from friends if I don't. =Þ
Blah. I'm leaving soon and will probably be gone for the whole day. Don't miss me too much. ;)
Damn Kig. He just has to make us all hungry before he leaves.
I've posted about 4 other posts, and they're all lost. Sigh. Why is the Lost Post Syndrome occuring with my weblog again?
From what I read in The Star, in the matter of piracy, Awie (Malaysian singer) is quoted to have said, "Don't tell me kids haven't got RM50 in their pockets to buy a CD."
What does he know?
My dad thinks my blood is toxic (well, he said "poisonous" but you know) because I don't eat vegetables. >:O Blah, consuming green-colored objects has never been my favorite pasttime, so what?
And yeah, I agree. It's stupid to ban all that just because it if sinful to one religion. If they're going to do that, they might as well ban eating beef altogether since it's against the Buddhist teachings. People should be tempted in order to know how strong their faith is in their teachings. If you're not tested, how do you know if you're really good?
Ohhh... yum! I just bought some oreos and a tube (tube, right?) of Toblerone (swiss white chocolate with honey and almond nougat). Yep, went shopping for sweet stuffs. I even got a tub of Nestle chocolate ice cream in the fridge now. =Þ
It's only a matter of time before I get to it.
Aww... I liked the picture with you holding the piggy in the old profile page! Heh, maybe it's just me. But it's so cute!
Oh, and your link from your new profile page to the old one is wrong. =Þ
Hehe, girlie, you're not alone. Almost everyone gets a happy when they have new guestbook entries. No matter how long they've been in the business.
Haha, remember the time when you don't update much at all that I have to bug you over and over to blog more, blog more, and blog more? Heh. Now you're getting to blog more indeed!
*mock wipes a tear away* I'm so proud of you now!
Hmm... mind sharing your secret of eternal beauty? Hehe.
I'm not good at all subjects, science or not. But originally I had wanted to take up 11 or 12 subjects... the other two being Information Technology and Principle of Accounts. Yes, I am insane. Either that, or too greedy.
But it's all because I don't have a direction in life and I want to keep my options open.
*shrugs* I thought we did. I'm too lazy to find out where that came from. It would be either ICQ, mIRC, or the boards.
Oh my. Fainting from the stomach cramps? Isn't that a little serious? Eek. I'm glad I don't faint from it then! I never really fainted from anything since I could remember, but my mom said I did once due to fever.
You are crazy. You are, you are! Nobody remembers Moral values after they get out of Form Five! Heck, I'm not even out yet and I'm already forgetting most of it. Haha. And how the heck did you get an A1 for Moral?! That's insanity! That's impossible! You are not normal! I mean, even I can't manage to bullshit so much, and I'm one heck of a bullshitter (if I may say so myself, hehe).
Bleh, I just flunked my Moral test today. Whoopdeedoo. My Moral class is the most un-moral of all classes. I think we're all rebels. Heh.
*gasps* It worked! Blogger works again!
I don't get why everything just loves to screw up on me. Especially today. I can neither blog or check my email. Free things are so unreliable these days.
Why can't I blog?! Stupid Blogger! Let me bloggggg!!!
Hmm... maybe I should change this weblog's name to "Blog Addict" instead of "Toothpaste Addict". I am addicted, yes I am.
I'm losing sleep over a darn exam. *curses*
I don't enjoy doing research. There's too much crap online to shift through, it's never enough. After looking for an hour or so, you have about one page of information and a lifetime's worth of boredom and frustration. Sigh.
The only reason why I'm online now and not asleep yet is because of that damned Art exam I have to sit for. Ugh. I'm searching online for inspiration so that I can get something painted. I don't think I can think up anything creative when I'm feeling like crap.
I think the water level in my body is too little. I rarely drink water. And my body accomodates to it. I haven't gotten a sore throat yet.
But I think I'm going to.
Oh, Malaysia and Singapore is soclose that I think we tend to share a lot of cultures. Big bad deal. Heh. I have yet to learn to differenciate between Manglish and Singlish, since it's so alike. Other than the fact that Manglish has additional Malay language in it, and Singlish has more Hokkien or Teochew words implemented.
*shrugs* Does it really matter? We once belonged in the same country.
Woohoo! You go girl! Manglish is the way to go. Hehe. It just adds in the Malaysian flavor in things, doesn't it?
Not going to write in her journal? Heh, did we not motivate her enough? ;)
Oh, and I have Art exam tomorrow too! Or rather, today. How on earth am I going to feel artistic, creative, and inspired with stomach cramps?!
I'll probably just prefer to curl up and die.
Being a girl is hard. Anyone ever told you that? What's up with the monthlies? I mean, why aren't we created without the damn bleeding and cramps every month... it just sucks. Enduring the cramps while going through the normal motions of life. Bleh.
And it wastes a hell lot of paper too. *ahem*
Some people seem to enjoy using the words of God and twisting it around to fulfil their needs. Or they make assumptions that God wants them to do it.
*sigh*
And you wonder why I never liked to be branded into any religion? They're too commercialized. There's too much political influence into it. And too many people abuse religion and use religion as an excuse to something they do that is wrong to make it sound like a right.
I don't know if anyone is really saved anymore. We humans are a bunch of sinful creatures anyway. The worst on earth. The most barbaric. The most vengeful.
We're all damned.
On a more serious note, I think the news about the Taleban blowing up Buddha statues in Afghanistan is seriously upsetting. It is just wrong wrong wrong! Religious issues is so sensitive, and there they are blowing up statues like they're worth nothing when it's part of the whole history! We should preserve them even if it does not suit our religion, and respect them. Blah!
What's more, they're fucking selfish to just think about themselves. Do they think that such a drastic move will only effect their country? Not! They're stirring up something. I think they really are trying to cause something. Either that, or that their leader just isn't farsighted enough to see the future. It's a stupid move, dammit! What happened to world peace?
Damn Mullah Mohammad Omar!
Don't you think Ling should take lessons from some of us on how to crap a lot in our weblogs? Hehe. We post almost everyday!
I wonder where did we get so many things to talk about too. Sheesh, we are blabbermouths. Haha!
Hey, you should really sleep like a normal human being, then maybe you won't have your eyebags showing that obviously. And you won't look so vampirish.
I act it, but at least I'm free of dark eye circles!
Graduating from a Malay primary school, I don't take Chinese as one of my subjects, but Art instead. I take 10 subjects in total for SPM (equivalent to O Levels, kind of like the Malaysian version of it). I'm not fluent in speaking Malay. I can't read or write Chinese.
Basically I suck in language subjects.
Heh, I thought we both agreed that you're not a true Singaporean. And you gotta to admit, a lot of Singaporeans and definitely kiasu, which is why they're largely labeled that way.
I'm a proud Malaysian kiasu. So what?
I have accounts on both Jaring and TMnet, and in my opinion, both of them suck. I would suggest don't bother switching to TMnet since a lot of people are not really satisfied with the services either, and their customer support sucks serious ass.
Are both of the ISPs owned by Telekom now? I wonder. Hey, I'm the girl who doesn't read the newspaper. You can't blame me for being clueless about current issues. Even if they're current issues dated from long time ago. Hehe.
If I were you, I'd try to take advantage of the fact that I live in KL, the capital of the country, and get the best ISP out there. There's six in Malaysia, and only three of them are available in my area (the other being TIMEnet, which I used for a while back when TMnet was being an idiot).
Not only that too... I feel empty not being able to check my mail. It's my routine to check my mail the first thing I get online, and now my routine is just scrambled. Bleh.
Hmm... for some reason I can't publish my weblog. Is H-Y-P-H-E-N-S.Net down? I wouldn't know, since everything online is down for me.
Nothing is loading!
I haven't been doing a lot of stuffs online lately because of my sucky connection. Things take ages and ages to load! I feel so deprived of my addiction.
All that talk about ice cream is making me crave for some. Come to think of it, it had been such a long time since I last ate any.
But then again, why settle for lousy ice cream? On the other hand, if I don't settle for lousy ice cream, where am I going to eat any ice cream that's not lousy? So in conclusion, when am I going to eat any ice cream if I don't settle for the lousy ones they sell over here?
Bah!
Ugh. Stomach cramps are the worst!
*goes to a corner and sulks*
Why am I getting "500 Internal Server Error" when I try to blog at BLOGGED?
Blah to SoftHome again. I can't check my mails anymore, and it's annoying the heck out of me. Grr. Right now, I keep getting the timed out thingy, and I can't go to their damn website.
*sob*
Hahahaha... I just freaked myself so bad over the current summer layout at BLOGGED earlier. It didn't really help that I was chatting to Lele too, and it past midnight for her. I probably gave her nightmares with my consistent blabbers and sharing my extremely morbid thoughts!
pei: ack, lele!
pei: did you see the blogged layout?
lele: Yes, I did.
pei: what's with the hands?
pei: /me is freaked
lele: YES!!!!!!
pei: it looks like drowning people asking for help!
lele: OH MY GOD!!!! SOMEONE ELSE SEES IT!
pei: I AM SCARED!@!!
lele: It's in the board logo too!
pei: yeah
pei: but the board logo isn't that bad
pei: lol
pei: this is like... DID YOU SEE THE COLORS OF THE HANDS?!
pei: it's like of a corpse!
lele: @#$@#$@#$
pei: and the way it's going up...
lele: Now I am even more freaked out.
pei: ARGHH...
lele: Thank you. I will commence to have nightmares now.
lele: THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
pei: it seriously look like a) someone drowning, or b) hands reaching out from underneath a grave
pei: lol
pei: i'm a morbid girl, sorry
Hell, I gave myself nightmares for a couple of seconds... blah, my imagination is just too wild. Whatever happened that made it so hyperactive today? Girls are a little too sensitive... my freaked out words probably made Lele freaked too, cause I don't think she was all that freaked about the hands before I mentioned it.
Ah, forget it. I'm not downloading it today. Saving it for a rainy day.
I'm going to go to study Biology (so that I won't flunk another paper). At least attempt to. It wouldn't be my fault or anything if I happen to fall asleep... ;)
My brother was singing that song One In A Million, and he went, "You're one in a million..."
I quipped an arrogant, "Yes. I know."
I'm upset at my ISP right now. The connection is so crappy that I'm downloading at 0.7kbps. That's insane! My dad is sure going to blow his top when he sees the bill... of all the times to screw up!
Screw Netscape. I rebooted.
Damn SoftHome! They're limiting the times I can log into the server to retrieve my mails to ten minutes once! And I'm expecting a goddarned mail... ugh!
Oh, yeah. Haha. I didn't win that damn pageant either (and I'm darn glad! I cannot live with the memory of winning a beauty pageant), because I was too Miss Congeniality-ish (before the makeover). I was the perfect tomboy. I acted like one. I walked like one. It doesn't matter what pretty party dress I'm wearing either.
I hang out with my older brothers too much. Heh.
Blah. My little brother is laughing his ass off at my younger photos! More specifically, my younger photos in a child beauty pageant! Damn brother.
I hate beauty pageants. Yes, I do. And I don't get how on earth they could've held child beauty pageants. That's just so demeaning to innocent little girls (like me). Why did my mom ever entered me into one?
%@#$@%$#&#$%!!!
How different you are from me... normally I know how I am going to begin and end something I'm writing before I even know what I'm going to write in the middle... I think I'm trained to perfect on my beginning paragraphs too much in school (the teachers wanted us to "make a good first impression" in essays), and I like endings best. Which is why I never got around to write the real story in the middle.
Is that why I'm also expert in crapping a lot without real substance?
Blah, I have a Biology test tomorrow... and as Samantha just said a couple of hours ago in #protagonist:
BIOLOGY SUCKS!
I tried to download Bosson's One In A Million (it got stuck in my head after I watched Miss Congeniality and I really liked it), but the file turned out not to exist! Argh! Do anyone know where can I get it?
Many people tend to lose track of me because of my URL changes... like Athena said, I always seem to be moving around a lot. Don't ask me why because I don't know... a lot of servers hate me after a while and won't let me connect. But I didn't realize it becomes such a hassle to everyone else too. =Þ
So I'm really surprised she still remembers me. Hi Emily! ;)
I'm bored, because I can't bug anyone online. Bah!
I'm connected to the net, but just barely. I have to wait about five minutes just for one page to load, and this sucks. I hate waiting. I can't connect to either AIM or ICQ because the connection is too unstable to support either of them. In order to have a faster connection, I'd have to reboot the computer... I don't know why, it just works for some reason. But I can't because I'm halfway downloading Netscape 6 right now.
I don't know who to blame, my computer or Jaring.
Muahahahahahaha. Anyone interested in sending someone a curse?
ChillCAM sounds and looks really cool. I love how it can do all those effects automatically onto the webcam pictures. Too bad it costs $US25 (RM95). Blah. I don't have that kind of money to spend on webcam softwares.
Ling Ling, is the school treating you people really that harshly? Too drained to blog... wow. Hehe. Wonder if that will ever happen to me. Too uninspired, yes. But never too drained.
I guess I'm just a nutcase. Heh.
I was wondering why the heck things look so small all of the sudden, and then I realized that it was in 1024×768 screen resolution instead of my normal 800×600. I switched it yesterday to test out my new weblog layout in higher resolution and forgot to switch it back.
*grins sheepishly*
Haha, I was right! See, you have a guestbook basher too... well, like they all said, you can't please everybody! *shrugs*
I just started another collection to add to my collections of collections (I've been known to collect a lot of things... and I mean a lot!). Wondering what? Hehe, just look at what they made for me... cam signs!
Hehe, here's another one to be added to the Protagonist Cam Portal!
Did you know that eCircles is closing down permanently on April 15th?
*gasps* BLOGGED has a new layout! Kickass!
For some reason, every site is bound to have some guestbook flamers or die-hard haters. Even those who are fantastic.
Nothing is wrong with Extreme. I just don't like the layout they have for their tracker pages. It's just blah, but maybe it's just me.
I thought it was obvious because where would I have gotten a real monkey from? I don't live in a zoo! And blah, my house is pet-less. Save for the fishies.
Uh-oh. She reminded me of mid-year exams in May (um, yeah, I have it too, unfortunately) and she's studying 10 hours daily?! Bleh, I'm stuck in a monthly test thingy right now and I'm still online surfing around and chatting.
*dies*
Hrm... why wasn't I informed that she moved? *cries* And to think that I'm still checking the old URL. Hah, I'm such a dork. Yes, I am.
And she's still making the best designs ever. Heh. Is orange color in the trend now or what? Everyone's using orange now.
Nevetheless, it looks great.
Bah! What's with the broken images?!
*glares at Kirsteen* How dare you deny me the pleasure of shifting through pictures?
Interestingly enough, Good Friday is on Friday the 13th...
Tall girls are girls. Just that... uh... we short girls tend to get a little jealous sometimes. Hehe. And... um... some guys just tell us that so that we feel better aobut ourselves?
Muahahahaha.
Did you realize that every post of mine that you refer to here related to each other?
Personally, I'd feel really empty without my weblog too. All my nonsensical ramblings and my spur-of-the-moment thoughts are recorded in here. Haha.
Why did you think I decided not to switch to Greymatter? Well, other than the fact that I think it sucks in some aspects.
Monkey. A stuffed toy. Haha. It's cute, small, and even has a banana stuck into its mouth. When you shake it or drop it, it makes these squeaking noises.
It used to hang in my mom's car, but since my mom's car was sold, it has pretty much been left in the house. ;)
What tracker are you using? I don't want to be stuck with Extreme tracker!
Ling... the buttons for Hyphenated are cute and everything, but do you realize that every one of them says "hyphnenated"?
Heh. I was a whole layout planned for my weblog, but I can't upload it because of the simple fact the layout is screwed up 110%. Damn tables. Damn them to hell!
Great. Now I have a monkey on my head. Um... yeah, I'm balancing a monkey on my head. Blame it on my brother who put it there.
Maybe I should apply for ABTOTH, considering that humans are pretty much animals to me too.
Other than that, GeoCounter went nuts too and stopped counting since April 3rd. Bleh. Now I'm stuck with only NedStat.
BlogVoices doesn't do comment counts anymore! AHHHHHHHHHHHH... and damn it, it screwed up. I set it to send me an email everytime someone commented something, but it never does anymore after the counts are removed!
Bah!
My head hurts, my knee hurts, my calf muscles hurts, my neck hurts, even my butt hurts! I'm so whacked out!
I think I see a pattern. These days, I only seem to sit down and really work on a layout when I'm upset. It's when I am in a bitchy mood, angry at the world, and don't want to talk to anybody when I get offline, open up a graphic program along with EditPad, and start working out something.
I made a layout for this weblog yesterday (since it's past midnight now). Only that I can't launch it, and that pisses me off so bad.
Do you ever wonder if one can actually be angry at herself? Well, now you know the answer. It's a definite yes.
Blah, I suck.
I'm slowly falling in love with a layout.... and cursing myself for my stupidity.
Bitchy mood today. Blah.
I can't stand it when there are people who are just fucking moronic. So moronic that every word that comes out of their mouth is filled with assumptions and mistaken facts. They draw conclusions out of their imaginations when they're not even past the hypothesis yet. They don't know anything yet think they know everything. Dumbasses who are not interested to learn about the world and its ways.
People like these need to go out and see the world. They just don't because they think they know it all.
My family isn't home yet. Hrm, wonder why? I would give them a ring, but they might just yell at me for being awake. Not like it's a new thing, but they just wish that I would act normal and sleep like a human being instead of a vampire body clock..
So anyway, I think I have to go to sleep now. Too tired to stay up, and my eyes are feeling dry. My knee still hurt. Bleh. I'm going to try to rest it. Or else I'm going to have to limp around a lot.
What made me crazy enough to run anyway?
I wish I don't have an inferior complex. I know I have one, yet there's nothing I can do about it. It just kicks into gear when I'm not careful.
Blah. Why do I feel like this piece of article is just plain dumb and stupid? I'm even tempted to think that's it's fucking fake.
*rolls eyes*
I think I just busted my knee. Ugh. It hurts like a bitch.
Oh dear. If you're hosted at Addr.Com, this matters to you. Yes, it does. Stuffs that makes you think twice and go, "Oh shit!"
The net is about as secure and private as a postcard. Whoever said that was definitely right.
I'm on an MP3 downloading spree. Someone tell me a nice song that I can download!
I'm happy to see her writing consistently now! Hehe. And what's wrong with being 17? That's not young! In fact, I feel really old now that I'm about to graduate from secondary school. Bleh!
Kidding. ;) It's all right for you to call me a youngster since there's a few years in between our age, but I take offense when he calls me a youngin!
Personally, I don't dream about my future. Sometimes I think I don't dream at all. How pathetic, eh?
You know, it's strange. I score better in those tests when I'm not paying attention than when I'm paying attention. Blah. What the hell?
I have such a short attention span when I'm online. Ugh. I need to focus. FO-CUS.
Dargh!
What's your soulmate's style? Since I don't happen to have any particular soulmate yet, I would like to hear about yours. ;)
All of the sudden she reminds me of Cinderella when she says the shoes won't fit her friends back home. Hehe.
I can be so self-absorbed sometimes. Blah.
I just made two phone calls, one to my brother asking him to help me buy a Form Five History textbook, and the other to my art teacher informing her that I won't be turning up for my art lessons today because I'm stuck at home.
My site statistics are pretty irregular. Weird. One day there's a lot of visitors, and the next day is zilch, and that process repeats itself over and over again.
Freaky pattern!
Um, yuck. Envying the dead? If I were five feet underground in that damp cold-looking place and worms are feasting away on my flesh while I lay there unmoving, I'd be so totally grossed out.
Okay, that's a pretty disgusting thing for me to say. But it's true!
Yeah, well, they're parents. And working parents are even busier with their lives and stuffs to care about things that they think are working perfectly fine. Sometimes I wonder who's really deluding themselves that way. But what can we do?
My cellphone? The old one? My dad made me switch it to my current one.
But blogging a lot if fun fun fun! And people view you as someone without a life... so, blah. =Þ
Blah, is the server messing up stuffs in your cgi-bin? =/
The phone downstairs is ringing, but I'm not picking it up, no matter how utterly annoying it is. It would be some salesman asking about some products that I never heard of, don't know anything of, and only my father or one of the workers know how to deal with. Bah!
Look at the right side, at the silhouettes of sexy ladies in different poses. Spot the difference? ;)
Yes, everyone loves E. Pet the penguin.
Ewww... someone searched for "ustazah sex" in Google and stumbled into my site! That would be like "priest sex" or something! Or "nun sex"! Ustazah is the lady who preaches the Muslim religion...
You people are sick!
Can you tell that I'm not exactly in a talkative mood at the moment?
I find Tiffany's splash graphic absolutely amusing. Hehe.
Heh. Read it. The Andromeda Strain is a nicely written (in my opinion) and well-plotted out book, but a lot of people has complained that they don't get all the technical stuffs Michael Crichton writes. The starting might be slow for a while because one has to actually get what is really going on, but after a while it leaves you wondering what will happen next.
And, well, being Science stream students, I suppose we could understand some of the stuffs. I probably wouldn't have liked that book if I had read it two years ago since I won't get what or where it's leading me too. Just like how I reacted to To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. I didn't like it then, but I read it again last year and it was great!
For one, I was serious when I said I'm not good with graphics or designing. Looking at all of my previous layouts that I did for my site, I feel inferior to all the perfectly designed sites out there. I've always made bland, simple layouts (with utterly confusing HTML) that quickly become boring after a while.
The hiatus note is probably the most complicated graphic I've ever done.
Oh yes, I'm happy now. Heh. My countinous bugging finally got to you, eh? ;) Well, told you. It's so much more easier and convinient this way.
Finally! Victory!
Well, not really, but I get to stay at home alone anyway. For tomorrow. However, I think they won't let me be home alone at night. They probably would drive home and reach about 1am or something.
I think they worry too much. Um... yeah.
Blah. Sleep, Pei! Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
*laughs* Come to think of it, the cut-out in the hiatus graphic looks like the shape of a great big goldfish, with the tail at the bottom. I didn't realize that!
Oh, yeah, I finally got off my ass to put up a hiatus note for Divination. *mwah* I actually spent some time making that graphic, when I normally don't even give a damn about hiatus notes. I decided shortly after I got disconnected from the net that I would want to make a simple graphic for the hiatus page, but it ended up that I focused on making one.
And finishing it, I actually like that graphic, and my being able to make something like that kind of cheered me up a little. I was never good with graphics or designing, and I had thought that after ages and ages of not creating anything, I would be really rusty now. But maybe I'm not that hopeless after all.
I guess website designing does calm my nerves.
But now, hours after the chat "therapy", I'm feeling a little better and more cheerful. Is that a good thing? Because I don't know what to do yet to solve the problem.
After venting out at #protagonist (there was a second venting session), I didn't exactly know what to feel after that. I don't even know what I was feeling. Just like that I said at BLOGGED:
At this moment, I don't know whether to feel better, feel worse, feel the same, or don't feel. With the golden rule of "when in doubt, do nothing", I'm at the moment "not feeling". But I can't be this way forever, and blah, I don't know how on earth am I going to sleep today. The problem's not solved yet, and I don't know how to solve it without geting all emotional and shit. I'm an emotional wreck. I considered myself one paranoid chickie too, but now I realized that my parents are even more paranoid than I'll ever be.
I'm such a hopeless case.
H-Y-P-H-E-N-S.net is down. And if I blog once here about it everytime it's down, I think I might just make a collection of these posts. Heh.
I wasn't serious about that. I'm not about to kill myself anytime soon.
I'm going downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat. And maybe I can gas myself to death too. If that's not possible, surely there are knives sharp enough do to stuffs. Blah.
Whatever.
Oh great. Thanks a lot, Mom and Dad. I'm fucking crying now, in front of the goddamned computer. Sniffling away like a fucking kid. And you're all watching TV in the living room, not noticing your depressed suicidal little girl is crying silently.
Thanks a lot.
I'm fucking pissed at my parents right now. All of you probably think I have no right to be angry at them, but fuck it, I'm a fucking teenager and I have teen angst! Got a problem with that?
I'm in the chat right now, ranting out on Samantha, Ling, and Isidra. Though I think I'm being really unfair to them, loading my problems on them like that... I think I'm pissing everyone off by being so goddamned negative all the time, at every word they said.
I'm setting away from the chat until I get into a better mood.
She told me that she was going to update, but she didn't. But I have no right to bug her, right?
I'm pretty hungry now, since the last meal I ate was lunch at 2pm. But I'm too sick to eat anything unhealthy, and there's nothing healthy in the house.
Oh, cool. Hehe. I have a Nokia 3210 too, but I found it rather bulky? Maybe it's just because I was too used to my old cellphone, the NEC Platina. That was small, slim, silver, and sexy.
I miss it. Blah.
I think I'm allergic to Panadols...
| Date | Time | Subject | | April 8th | 0745 - 0915 | Bahasa Melayu (BM) | | 0955 - 1055 | Physics | | 1150 - 1320 | English | | April 9th | 0745 - 0915 | Modern Mathematics | | 0940 - 1040 | History | | April 11th | 1215 - 1315 | Biology | | April 12th | 0800 - 1030 | Art | | 1120 - 1320 | Values Education (Moral) | | April 15th | 0745 - 0915 | Additional Mathematics | | 0945 - 1045 | Chemistry |
Tests again. Blah.
Oh yeah... Ling Ling is online on AIM. And we talked it out. I'm supposed to think about it, but I don't really know what to think, so I'll sleep on it when I have a chance. Heh. But being the indecisive person I am, I'd probably take forever to make a decision.
Thanks again, Ling. :) Love ya! *huggles*
I wrote something in school today during the free minutes in between classes, inspired early in the morning while I was going to school. I managed to squeeze in some stuffs.
I'm not done with it yet though.
Flike is hibernating too. Down indefinitely.
I feel so selfish. I am selfish. No doubt about it.
But it's not like anyone care, right?
Oh, by the way, I've finally decided on something. I'm putting Divination on hiatus indefinitely. I don't know when it'll be revived again. When I have more time on my hands, when my CPU is back... who knows. I will, someday. I promise. It's just that I'm under some time constrain at the moment, and I'm sure everyone is sick of seeing my site un-updated for so long.
The sections that are currently still around and updated every now and then are the weblog, the journal, and Expression. All of them are pretty much sites on their own, each functioning as a different sector. I don't exactly know what will happen to each of them... I hope I will be keeping them up and around.
I suppose this sudden "change" of plan means that I need to have a talk with Ling as soon as possible, mainly about me residing on her domain. I'm indecisive of what to say, what to ask. But I hope to see her online soon. I feel like I'm being very, very unfair to her by residing there, taking up her space, yet not putting up a site.
I'm having yet another headache. I hate it when I do. It's not as if I haven't been sleeping... I have! A little on the graveyard hours side, but I did sleep at least once in 24 hours... that's good improvement. But I don't get it that I'm having headaches a lot lately... am I stressed? But then again, what is there for me to be stressed about?
I finally finished reading The Andromeda Strain. That was a nice one, very captivating. Nonetheless, it took me days to finish it because of the darn school and other things involved.
Ugh. Whoever emailed to pei@unbounded.com, my email is now pei@the-protagonist.net. Unbounded is closing down their email service, so I had stopped using them since then.
I forgot to change my links. Oops.
Pei pei bo bei, banana fana fo fei, fee fi mo mei, Pei!
Uhh... blame it on the chat.
This article is one hell of a funny piece. You should read it if you want some laughs. ;)
It's stuffs like these that "feminists" do that makes me doubt the feminist movement. Feminism... blah! Can't they just focus on something more meaningful than urinals?
Hahahahahahahaha... congratulations to E for having tricked not one, but two people for April's Fools Day!
Sigh. I feel like writing something. I think it's a good time to write, early in the morning, quietness everywhere, without time constrain. If only I can find a certain topic to write about, I can just go on and on about it, writing a long piece of story or article. I feel inspired, but without an idea.
The worst thing is that I know this feeling of inspiration won't last long.
I'm so sick of blogging and seeing the time all screwed up. Sick of it! Ugh. Why is Blogger so fucked up? And why the Greymatter so utterly confusing?
Gentle is permanently moving to Restraint.Org. O.o
She has new layout. Hehe, all of the sudden there is an outbreak of fairytale-oriented layouts!
I'm working on the doodles! Don't worry! Hehehe. ;)
Ah, so I was right, this was a joke. Heh. Not that it was some breakthrough thingy, but heck. You're quite convincing though, because you got quite a few people running around in a panicked frenzy. Hehe.
Anyway, you're right; it is scary to tell someone--someone you don't know at all--everything about your life. Sometimes I wonder if it's actually worse than a celebrity's life. Celebrities are hunted all their lives and their private lives are made scandals and everything, but at least they attempt to protect their privacy, as futile as it is. And here we are baring it out, telling our innermost thoughts. Don't you think that's freaky?
And yes, it's hard to make a boring day interesting. Not everyone has things to do everyday, we don't live in a soap-opera world. It's just impossible to have a hectic life everyday that's worth talking about. Which is why half the time I put myself to sleep just writing out an entry. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but it's true anyway. We don't star in The Truman Show.
Of course, anyone felt like a guinea pig before? A lab rat, with everyone staring at you? Ah, that's even scarier. That's like cameras in all areas in your house 24/7 online, and a camera following your around.
I propose that we stick in journalling rather than a career as a lab rat. ;)
My sleeping pattern is getting so whacky. I just woke up.
I'm just gonna disconnect now and go read before sleeping. And I have school tomorrow.
Night everyone.
I think I just post a lot in my weblog because I talk a lot of nonsense and unload things full of crap, unlike some other people who prefers to blog intelligent stuffs. Ah... I feel stupid.
And this is another stupid pointless post of mine.
I'm busy transferring things from my laptop to the CPU... *sigh*
Hmm... surprising. Everyone has gotten new haircuts?
Kig finally launched Dizzily.Net! And gosh, Kig, you and your brother did a fabulous job at it too! Congratulations!
Suddenly I feel like the whole damn world is against me. Must've been an April's Fools trick my emotion is trying to play on my mind, and vice versa.
It sure feels weird when you're against yourself too.
I'm calling a friend right now to find out what we're testing on tomorrow... because we're supposed to have some tests tomorrow, and I still don't know what. Ah... I'm freaky. And I'm freaked!
Darn. Engaged. Damn you people!!!
It's okay. No worries. I'll just flunk whatever test it is that I'm taking tomorrow. Big bad deal.
Oh oh oh. Good news. Dad might be buying me a CD burner! Wheeeee!
Heh, I didn't even bug him for it. The last time I mentioned about getting a CD burner was sometime mid-last year, I'm not really sure. But it was a long time ago. Ever since then I had kind of resorted to saving to buy it on my own, but just yesterday night Dad suggested buying a CDRW.
Am I one lucky girl or what? ;)
Well, it's not confirmed 100% that we're getting one, but hopefully! Hehe. And no, this is not part of my plans for world domination...
Oh my. Blogger is so freaky. Every time I edit a post, the time goes up for one hour, so it becomes two hours in front of my time! I had to delete the post and repost it, or else everything else that I write after that will be placed before that post.
From: born@yesterday.co.uk
To: ladypingggerr <midnighter@softhome.net>
Heh, Kirsteen. You haven't quitted the ladyfinger thingy, have you? *glares at Kirsteen*
H-Y-P-H-E-N-S.Net is down. Again. I wonder why.
Oh yeah, Happy April's Fools Day! Did you trick anyone today? Did anyone fall for your honest expression? Interested to let me in on your evil plot to take over the world?
Oh wait, April's Fools Day doesn't include world domination. Darn.
I'm in a pissy mood. So sue me.
It's actually 7:43pm right now, but my weblog is showing an hour earlier... looks like I'll have to tinker around with the darn settings... this happened once before, but I thought it was just Blogger fucking up. But if I set it to an hour later, then all of my archives and old posts will end up an hour earlier too!
Don't the people at Blogger knows that there are some people like me who lives right on the fricking equator and we don't adjust our damn clocks to an hour earlier just because of DST?
Fucking Daylight Savings Time. It's messing up my weblog!
Exactly. That's part of the reason why I'm never really into design cliques, webrings, and other related stuffs. I don't apply for them. They're sometimes a little too elitist, don't you think? Or am I the only one who thinks this way?
But as long as people are satisfied with whatever they want to do, I will just mind my own business.
*grins* I would love to submit something for her guest doodlebox, but I don't think I'm good at doodling anything. But she doodles cute stuffs.
I feel inferior.
I'm at the moment halfway through The Andromeda Strain by Michael Crichton. Been at it since 2am. Great book, if you're into these stuffs. I love the scientific view to it.
Besides, mystery and thrillers are the way to go.
I think I just recieved an email with some virus on it. No sender's name, no topic, just an attachment with an EXE file. It had been in my email box for days, I've just been too lazy to look at it (normally I just shift through my mails and look for personal mails from friends... other emails can be dealt with later). And when I finally do, lo behold, it's an EXE file!
Oh well. The seven dwarfs thingy has been sent to my email for gazillions of times too.
Sometimes I take things for granted without even realizing the effort put into it by someone else. That's when I think everything is just fine and dandy, when in the end, things crash and burn and I realize what it took to create such an illusion to me that everything is going on great just a little too late, that I will feel guilty.
Guilt guilt guilt. One would think that I'd have more than my share of that, that I'd get sick of feeling that way, but it's almost like an instinct to feel guilty already.
I just don't understand things. It's stupid, but I just don't.
Holy shit! Someone is freaking nuts enough to do that!
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