|
Hehe, new forwarding email address: pei@the-protagonist.net!
You're planning on doing TV ads? You go girl! Hehe.
Oh? But I did a test just now... after I saw that note... and it works fine?
Weird.
Okay, I've officially moved my diary. :)
Gentle made a webring, Compromised Soul. It has a good motive. I suggest you guys take a peek at it. I'd join when I get around to logging into my email. Haha.
Oh, but wait a minute. I was webring-free!
Well... not anymore.
Hehehe... Steph has now relocated and is at SuicideLolita.Net now. And that's like a dream come true to her.
Congrats, dearie!
I'm FTP-ing all my journal entries to Lauryn's domain right now. Um, actually, I'm re-FTP-ing. The first time was crap because I forgot about the corrupted files that can't be opened. And whoa, I didn't realize my journal totalled up to 800 pages (for entries only) and is 4MB.
That seems a hell lot for just a journal without much graphics.
Talking about that, I'm thinking of a redesign of the journal layout. This rose one has been there for ages. Almost a year? Already a year? I have no idea... I love it, and it's really sweet. And rarely anyone uses these colors, so I really liked this. But it might be getting old.
Anyway, what do you think?
I'm getting a headache now. And it hurts. I hadn't gotten a single headache since the year began, which is quite a feat because I used to get headache everyday.
But now it's coming back. :(
Ugh. I know I have an erratic blogging habit. It's not my fault I have a hectic life. ;) And sometimes, I'm just not in the mood to talk and babble about useless craps. Oh well.
Maybe, maybe there's no tuition today. *crosses fingers*
I just about to conk out really, really soon. I just caught less than an hour of sleep yesterday night. Sheesh. But I can't, because I still have a damn IT Quiz to take care of before I go home. And at 3pm, I have tuition till 5pm.
I think I'm gonna die.
Goodness, if Li Chin finds out I'm online at this hour, she'd have a heart attack. Yesterday she saw me online at 3.49am, and she was like, "Why the hell are you online so late?!" through ICQ... although I never got the message until the next day. Muahahahahaha.
Well, I have a question for her too! Why the hell was she online at that hour of the day? Sheesh.
Heh, um, okay, so she was online because she had just slept from 3pm to 3am (ack, 12... 13 hours?! How does that girl sleeps anyway...). But still!
Hehe, by the way, that's the reason why I always prefer to lurk at websites rather than email the webmaster/webmistress or sign the guestbook.
You know, sometimes I'd look upon at a bunch of teen webdesigners with their superbly gorgeous websites, and I'd think enviously that they must be somewhat and in someway greater than I am. They are people who are not people to me anymore. More like kings and queens that reign over me.
But when you get to know them, they're just like you and me. They have feelings, they have their ups and downs, they have their negative part as well as positive part. It's just that they're talented in some things, but that doesn't mean they're all perfect as I had imagined. It's all in my mind.
It all just means that I must put a stop to my habit of placing people on pedestals. Hehe.
For anyone who wants a tracker (how come it sounds so much like "Polly wants a cracker!"), get GeoCounter. It's good. I like it. And no, it had nothing to do with GeoCities, or else I wouldn't be promoting it because I have this intense hatred of GeoCities and Yahoo!. Ever since the merging, I think.
Um, yeah, Kyd.Net really does suck. And it has a lousy reputation... I think it was accused of copying Ack.Nu's design once. And we all know that Ollie (hehe, Ollie sounds cuter than Katie) does fabulous designs.
Another fellow Malaysian. I feel proud. :)
Oh, and by the way, Ling offered to host my personal site. And my diary might be relocating at Lauryn's domain soon (I don't know how soon, but I'll post up a notice as soon as it's done).
You know why I willingly move in this time? Well, mainly because I've grown fond of them both. And I've always believed that there should be a bond of friendship between the host and the hostee to make it work out right. Both of my previous hosts are somewhat of a stranger to me, someone who stumbled upon my site accidentally and liked it. I'm flattered that a stranger would show such enthusiasm over my work, but personally... I feel guilty taking up space of someone whom I don't know in the least.
I had thought we could build a relationship after I got hosted... but it wasn't that easy, when they don't know my intention. To them, it's strictly business. I can't do that. I can't reside in someone else's home without forming at least a familiar bond with them.
That is why I left my first domain home, and that is why I didn't move on to Coloured-Glass.Com after my second domain home closed down.
Fuck Nedstat. It's always down for maintanence nowadays.
Ugh, I gotta go to sports now. I hate sports. I hate school. I hate the teachers.
Oh, and did I mention I hate sports?
I know, I look totally ewww and flushed in the scanned face. I look red. >:O But the air-conditioner was off in my dad's office and that place is darn hot!
I'm back home now. On my crappy laptop with its crappy 36.6KB modem and its crappy 28.8KB connection.
And you know, I have to be back in school at 4.30pm because I have sports to attend. Blah. Stupid school with their stupid sports. I told my captain not to include me in the list, but he did anyway.
Bah!
Thanks to a dare from Cessy while we were playing Truth or Dare in #protagonist, you guys get this treat of seeing how my face look when I stick my head into the scanner...
Um, yea, in school right now. So what?
Ah, yes, I know my scrawl is pretty unreadable, but what the heck, I was in a rush and I don't have the patience to write slowly and patiently, okay? >:O
Oh, and Jordan... something else for you (requested by a certain someone):
Gentle is so sexy. Rawr!
Oohhhhhh... I'm the current featured member for H-Y-P-H-E-N-S.net Ikonboard! Thanks Ling! This is sure a surprise! Hehehehe.
Blogger was being a whore yesterday and not letting me blog!
I forgot, I have school tomorrow!
Or rather, today!
Yeah, I know cookie monster isn't an animal. Thinking of starting SPCCM, Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Cookie Monsters.
I lubbs cookie monster.
Let's see... what else did I scan... oh, here's the Chinese character to my name written in my handwriting:
I'm always the one end up with ruined friendships. Did you realize that? Either there's a fight, or we drifted apart, or whatever. But it always end up that I am alone. And I think it's starting to seem like there is no one I can truly trust to be there for me anymore.
I guess that's the way life is.
>:O Gentle kicked and banned me from #protagonist chat room just now at about 6ish. I was pissed. I don't mind getting kicked at the spur of the moment because I have auto-rejoin on my mIRC, but being banned too?
Blah.
Muahahahahaha. Jordan, here's a little message for you (don't get mad, you want to see my handwriting anyways, hehe):
I updated Expression with a new painting I just scanned in.
She wants to bomb me through snail mail! *sobs* She's evil!
There are some people who are quite intrigued by the title "Goddess" that I had, out of fun, bestowed upon myself in the online world. Most of them shrug it off as something trival, and it is something trival. It's not as if I really believe I'm a goddess.
So to everyone who thinks I've gone off the handle, chill!
I'm gonna go off and eat dinner now. Roasted chicken wings! Yummy. Oh, and I'm going to scan something as well as go stock up on oreos. ;)
My lips bled a few minutes ago. And now I'm having a headache.
Those two are unrelated, but heck, I just felt like mentioning it. Haha. I'm a little crazy right now.
Recently I've been posting at another message board too. This one is owned by Ling. H-Y-P-H-E-N-S.net Boards. Hehe. Look out for me, I'm goddess pei.
SPCA = Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
But... but... she hanged cookie monster!
Okay, I'm really going to sleep now.
I need to sleep now. *yawn* I got home about 11pm yesterday. And yeah, I finally updated my diary. Enjoy.
Girlie, your bratta scrollers are working perfectly! What's wrong with it?
Or maybe it's just cause I'm using IE 5.5?
Bye everyone! I'm leaving now! Hehe, see you guys on later Friday or Saturday then!
I'll be going to KL today evening... again. Yeah, I know, I always seem to go there. So I'm weird. Sue me.
My parents are the ones who came up with the idea to go to KL today. Weirdness.
Why the heck is someone talking about oreo cookies in #protagonist when I'm just dying of starvation right now?
Okay, that's a little too drastic, but still...
I'm at school right now, and I can't wait to go home. And darn, I'm really hungry at the moment too. *Sigh*
Does anyone know who sings Beautiful Girl? I really like that song. *swoons* It's an oldie. Err... that probably would explain why I don't know the singer's name. ;)
Hehe. Anyway, part of the lyrics goes like (I think this is the second/third verse):
You said hello
And I turned to go
But something in your eyes
Left my heart beating so
You made me in love again
After a long, long while
In love again
It was destiny's game
When I finally came along
I rushed in line
Only to find
That you were gone
Well... in case you're wondering why I haven't been blogging lots lately, there is a reason to it. I've been really tired the past few days and had slept early. Though I miss blogging... well, it does my health some good by catching up on missed sleep.
And anyway, I get to lower down a little on my net usage. Dad had been getting on my ase ever since he saw last month's bill.
How I wish I'm not on a mere dail-up.
AIM is being mean to me. What the heck is "rate limit" anyway?
Ugh. No, not another night of sleeping late!!!
*groans*
I'm agnostic. Reason? Many. But read the post below that I just posted at The Protagonist Boards.
last thursday, two school counsellars (sp?) tried to convince a friend of mine to go into the islam religion. in my opinion, school counsellars should not be trying to convince anyone to go into any religion... they're there to help you with problems. and last year, a wife of a doctor (who happens to be our neighbour) tried to get me into her church and adopt christianity (protestant) as my religion. i didn't accept the offer, and now she's spreading rumors about me being snobbish and too high-and-mighty. hmm??
that was one weird experience. but that is just to tell you that there are many reasons why it's hard to accept a religion nowadays. everyone is trying to convert you into SOMETHING and you become suspicious of every religion that comes along. naturally, that is understandable. i honestly don't feel like adopting any religion as my own at the moment, and having people pester me about it makes it even worse. the reverse psychology thingy is taking an effect here.
but anyway, i digressed a lot there. the point is, if we're brought up correctly, we can lead a normal live without killing anybody. human has conscience. forget about the movies you saw. people who doesn't have conscience are either mentally ill or brought up that way (just like how you would train a dog to attack ferociously, if you train a human repeatedly that killing virgins is good, they will kill virgins).
i never knew anything about religion or religious issues deeply until the age of 12 when i took a fancy of learning about them. even before that, i had already been an agnostic.
i do sin. which one of us never did? we're not perfect, after all, though we strive to be as perfect as possible. i lie, i cheat in tests (as minor as those tests are, it's still cheating), i get lazy, i hate... it's all part of human life. and i can learn from it. i feel the guilt too. but what connection does that have with religion, since i don't particularly practice any?
in school, i take values ed. as much as i think a ridiculous subject it is, it does give me a point to focus on here. values ed has nothing to do with religion. it's about how to live a moralled life and do good things.
so you see, religion does teach morals and values. but you cannot say that moral values can only be taught through religion. there are many other ways to implement it.
At Stale, my profile is:
She's painfully introverted: quiet, shy, insecure, and reserved. But online, she is crazy and active and not at all afraid to say what she thinks. Writing is her life, but she has no confidence in it. Hello, I'm Pei.
At BLOGGED, my profile is:
Pei, 16, Malaysia- "I may sound snobbish, opinionated, and rude, but that is not how I am in real life. Unless you come on over here and meet me, I don't see how you can know me in real life. But even that does not mean you know me."
I never had a profile at BunnyHop (now no longer in existance).
Haha... I've been watching a lot of webcams of people I know online. Real life streaming, yeah!
Haha, I have no idea why they are nuts enough to search for that. People are so weird nowdays.
I use a tracker to see my referrals.
Ack! Whatever is happening to BeautifulFreak.Org?
By the way, don't expect a new layout for now... I won't be able to do anything even if I have inspiration because I don't even have a single graphic program in this laptop. Everything is in my CPU.
Dargh!
Yeah, I guess I was really bored enough to go and take all those tests...
Are You Millionaire Material? - 6/10
Ever thought about buying an SUV and joining a tennis club? You should, because you were made for the elite. We can tell that you enjoy many of the finer things in life, but for some reason you just can't make the leap to "millionaire material." Sure, that's a step down from the top of the money pile, but it's probably all for the best. Why? Perhaps because, when it comes down to it, you enjoy fun more than money. Cash is all well and good, and we can tell that you're pretty good at saving your dough when you put your mind to it, but you'd rather spend time outdoors, hang out with friends, or plan your next big trip than drool over your bank balance. After all, what's money for if you can't enjoy it?
The Identity Test
Openness To Experience - 9/10
Your high score in the Openness category means that you probably have a strong creative streak. Your broad intellectual curiosity and your interest in the various arts set you apart. Some people may consider you somewhat of a dreamer, and your taste for variety often means moving quickly on to the next experience. This tendency makes you appear a bit flighty and inconsistent. But these elements of your personality simply reflect a character full of new ideas and charged with emotions.
Conscientiousness - 5/10
Your medium score in the Conscientiousness category means that you have achieved a solid balance in your outlook towards responsibility. You are probably somewhat organized, with a little room for improvement. Your priorities probably reflect a mix of work and play. Thoughtfulness characterizes your thinking style, so you give gravity to important decisions without making a big deal out of minor issues. You are probably serious about achieving success, but do not feel completely driven by this motivation. All in all, you've got a very healthy perspective on work and duty.
Extraversion - 4/10
Your low score in the Extraversion category indicates that your have an introverted social identity. Given the choice, you prefer keeping to yourself. Your independent nature is characterized by a reserved and steady demeanor. You keep to the background, and probably maintain a relatively quiet and inactive social life. Your social style earns you the reputation as somewhat aloof, because you don't care much for company. Your emotional state is quite reserved, and you are seldom known for qualities of exuberance.
Agreeableness - 5.5/10
The Agreeableness category refers to your social disposition. Your medium score indicates someone who balances the priorities of your own inner voice with the needs of others. You tend to be concerned with the harmony of the group, while maintaining a certain independence. Depending on the situation, you might adopt a stance that defers to the wishes of others, or else assert your own individuality. In this way, you have a great deal of tact, and believe in the situational equality of people. You probably have an approachable and kind personality. People probably admire you for your ability to speak your mind when appropriate.
Negative Emotionality - 4.5/10
Negative Emotionality refers to your emotional reactivity. Your medium score means that you're someone who negotiates your emotions depending on your situation. Sometimes you may feel quite sensitive and emotional, while other times you may remain resilient to outside pressures. This quality of adaptation best describes your emotional character. You maintain a rational outlook, which is moderated by feelings. For example, you can sometimes feel sad, stressed, worried or embarrassed under the weight of a situation, but you are able to act quite calm and reserved, without yielding to the stress. Responsive, without being overly reactive, is the best way to describe you.
Um... I got my webcam on February 5th. And that's the day my CPU was sent to PC Partner's shop.
That's 12 days already! *sob*
I always wondered that's so special about the Monalisa painting. Finally I've been told that the secret of the Monalisa is that her "mysterious" knowing smile is viewable from one angle yet from another angle it look as though she's not smiling.
I watched the documentary of how the painting was actually painted. They found out the technique, centuries after it was painted. Haha.
^@#$%@#$%!!!
My CPU still isn't home yet! How long has it been gone?! Damn PC Partner... when the fuck is my CPU coming home?!
GRRR!!!
*muah* I love you guys. Hehe. My stats for Clix voting thingy...
Feb 16th - Dear Diary was ranked at 56th
Feb 09th - Dear Diary was ranked at 99th
Feb 02nd - Dear Diary was ranked at 106th
I know, 56th is still a pathetic ranking. Haha. But anyway, it's all for the fun of it. Still wanna vote for me? :)
Someone tell me why "Bookmark of onbekend" appears in my referral tracker? Whatever is it and why is it there?
Oh yeah... Allen is handsome. Jordan is sexy. Gentle is hot. Andy is cute.
:) Goodness, guys of the world.
To be entirely truthful, I am a little tired at the moment.
Lele trying to get me to sleep. As usual.
Why on earth do people still sign guestbooks that I no longer use?! You people are weird! I have a new guestbook now... heh.
Yes, deers are very cute. Oh so demure. :)
My other painting of a deer (the snow one) is already in Joan's possession. I gave it to her for Christmas because she loved it so much.
I'm trying to get Miss Goh to teach me oil pastel and color pencil... the last time I used those was when I was very young, and now, after years of watercoloring, I think I'm going to have to relearn the techniques. Hehe.
I'm going for a picture of a deer in the woods and a pair of rabbits in a field. Hehe.
My brother and my cousin is going to the EduFair (Education Fair) at PWTC on Saturday. That means they're leaving today evening on bus.
I want to go too! Only that I can't, because I have school on Sunday and that's when they're coming home. Shucks.
Oh, and Kig is sweet enough to give me a forwarding email: goddess@dizzily.net! Love ya, Kiggy! :)
And yes, I'm collecting forwarding emails (that's my old obsession back in 1997, and I'm restarting it). :) *starts the forwarding email hunt*
Argh. Jaring wouldn't let me connect to the net! It had been three days of this problem. Grr... stupid Malaysian ISPs!!!
It's a good thing my father didn't cancel his TMnet account. At least I still can get online.
Feeling a little lonely and bored at the moment. I need something. That is definite. Maybe it's changes. Maybe I need changes. Or something exciting to happen.
Lele would probably answer, "Sleep!"
I went to most of the pages that I constantly frequent, hoping to be able to lift my spirits a little. And when I've gotten through all of them, and have repeatedly visited their site for over 3 times, I close all of those windows.
And nothing is different.
There something that is weighing heavily in my heart, a desperation of some sort. I don't like it because it's making me feel hopeless and depressed. It's something along the lines that I want to get out of here as soon as possible. Not out of here as in SEED room, not out of here as in school, but really out of here. Kemaman. Terengganu. Malaysia.
Whatever. I just can't stand this place anymore. It already had been almost 17 years stuck in this place. I never go anywhere. And now I want out.
But in all honesty, I know deep in my heart that I can never do that until I graduate with excellent results for SPM at the end of this year. That would require a whole 12 months more, including waiting for my results. I can never hope for my family to move, when it had been over 20 years since my parents settled here. Where is that hope, I ask?
It's obvious they're here to stay. But why do I have to stay too? They have seen the world, but I haven't. I want to go out and explore, to experience the world at large. I want to... do something different. Routine is getting to me a total drag. Ever since the day I was born, I've been doing pretty much the same thing without much advancement. And ever since I stepped into secondary schooling, there had been no changes at all in my daily life.
How exciting it is.
No ICQ. No AIM. No mIRC. No bookmarks. No privacy. No freedom.
Slow connection.
Tell me, what is so good about being online at school? Other than the fact that I get to use it for free. And this "free" isn't really free either... I need to do a hell lot of work for it too!
For all the blahs about having an 128KB ISDN line, this is even worse than what I have at home. And I only have a 56KB internal modem at home.
Oh wait. That's the other CPU. The laptop only has a 33KB modem.
Dammit, I want to go home!!! I hate this frickin' school... but who the hell is going to guard the Hypermedia and SEED room if I go?
The world is so unfair.
I'm in school now... and using the computer sorta "illegally". Oh well. I never claimed to be an angel. ;)
Ugh... I'm having poor radio transmission. All of the channels are having static noises. Blah.
On the ratio of junkmails to real mails, I think I get a hell lot more junkmails. Today I recieved maybe 35 new mails, and 32 of them are junkmails. The other 3 is newsletters that I'd subscribed.
How pathetic.
This is so cute!
There goes my chance to send Valentine E-Cards to my friends! Hehe.
I could always make it belated though. ;)
Yes, contrary to popular believes... I do not wear make-up and I have never worn make-up! *ahem* Not every female on this earth depends on those stuffs, you know.
Those stuffs are just... ick!
I think I suffer from inferior complex. I know a lot of people suffer from it, sometimes it's because of the lack of command of a language, sometimes it's because of the self-image and physical attributes, sometimes is the incapability of doing stuffs perfectly, and sometimes it's because they just think everyone hates them.
I don't know what I am. But I think I'm just un-self-confident. Therefore I'm working on building that up. My target is before I turn 17 on June 27.
Wish me luck!
I just chatted to this guy friend of mine today about sex. Hahahahaha... I asked him which part of a girl he'd notice first, he said that it's a common occurances among all guys to notice the boobs first. *grins* He probably does, but is he trying to avoid from admitting it straight out, something like, "I notice the boobs first!" Is that the reason for the extra-long answer?
I notice a guy's shoulders first. Yep, that I do.
I'm posting a lot today because I don't need to worry about tomorrow's activities in school. Hehe. It's the last day, and we aren't going to study for the whole day! :)
I'm a self-proclaimed goddess. Goddess Pei! ;)
By the way, Ambrosiana (othewise known as Le or Lele) finally has a site! And her writing style is fabulous. I think I just got addicted to another journal!
The lousy thing about studying in Terengganu is that you don't really see any Valentine spirit around. It seems to be like any other day... I know, we need to celebrate love everyday, but at least let's be a little public about it on a special day for celebrating love, because you know that the rest of the world will celebrate with you.
But... er... it's kinda dead.
Um... what? I didn't even see you online. Haha.
I have a new AIM screen name! Hahahaha... if you know me through ICQ or mIRC, you can guess it. If not, you could always ask me. ;)
Um, yeah. I want to say sorry for not updating much these few days too. I didn't have much to say.
I would like to start of today with....
Happy Valentine's Day!!!
I give up. Seriously, people nowadays have the most twisted mind. Someone actually has the nerve to search for "KLCC toilet" and "rugby women wet mud". And guess where they ended up in?
Yep. My diary.
Speaking of Titanic, I'm at the moment reading about the ship and the tragedy that happened.
I got an email with Flash embedded inside. It was an advertisement for this new movie, Sweet November. Obviously, it's a romance movie. I don't know if I'm going to watch it anyway, I'm not all for romance. omantic comedy is more interesting. Hehe. I prefer things that make you go, "Aww... how sweet..." instead of those mushy romance like Titanic (and ack, for some twisted reason, I think the movie is making fun of the real tragedy). I don't believe in dying for love. It's a stupid thing to do.
Yes, both Romeo and Juliet are pretty stupid. Call me unromantic if you want... but when you think about it, dying is simply an easy way out. A way to avoid suffering. An escape. Does that prove how strong your love is? No. It shows that you don't even have endurance. Hello... do you think your love want you dead?
Stupid. Really stupid.
Oh wait, I was supposed to be ranting about the new movie. Anyway, I don't really know the plot. It could be one of those funny romantic comedy for all I know. Hehe.
There's only one thing I know though. The main actress and actor are both hotties (in the views of both male and female, okay?). Charlize Theron and Keanu Reeves.
I wonder what happened to BurningSoul.Com? I was trying to access to Prozac, but always got the "Page Not Found".
Gentle Slaughter looks good! It's more complex than the old one designwise, but I really like this new one.
Animal Rights activists should ban these nursery rhymes:
Three Blind Mice (cut of their tails with a carving knife?!)
Ding Dong Bell (he put the cat into the well)
Sing A Song of Sixpence (they baked live blackbirds in a pie?)
Nursery rhymes and those lullabies are sometimes really sadistic. But I think (think!!) the lyrics are:
Rock a my baby on the tree top / When the wind blows the cradle will rock / When the branch breaks the cradle will fall / Then down comes the baby, cradle and all.
Weird. If the baby ever knows what the song means, how on earth does one feel safe when the cradle is going to fall down from the tree top? He or she will probably have nightmares!
Haha, yes, I'm wondering why too. I'm at the moment more active in my personal weblog than the group blogs that I'm involved in. Why? Ugh. I don't know.
Wait till I clear my head enough to think.
After slacking for a while, my journal is back in action. Sorry for not being up to date for the whole of last week, but I guess I was a little stressed and busy. Ugh.
That is also why I took it early. The L license expires in three months time. Ugh. Not enough time for me since my birthday is still four months away, and I took it back in January.
I have Add Math test tomorrow, and I should be either sleeping or studying. But I'm doing neither.
I am so weird.
Hehehe... for those who hadn't gotten a webcam yet, I suggest don't make up your mind so soon. Because this sounds really cool too actually.
But I should be satisfied with mine already. :)
Yay. I ate lunch, by the way. Haha.
I'm just wondering, do all guys think about is sex sex sex when they see or talk to the member of the other gender?
I don't think so. I don't like to stereotype people, and I think they're perfectly capable of... er... thinking rationally without hormones raging out of control. But what if it's true? Haha.
I've known girls who want to jump on a really hot-looking guys too. =P
Goodness. People find my diary by searching for:
vocab sucks
tone melayu
kemaman pictures
cantonese slang
modem dial tone
cartoon bees
baju kurung
learn tears in heaven
princess pei pei
sunway sex
kuching sex friend
arm wrestle her
jokes about silly situations
birthday wordings
Err... what does those has to do with my site anyway?
Damn, I'm really hungry right now, but I'm too lazy to go out and buy myself lunch. Ack!
I'm really tired right now, but I feel an obligation to type out my journal entries before they pile up. Heh.
I'll sleep later.
I didn't ask her about her secret URL because I thought she wanted it secret, period.
I guess I don't want people feeling guilty not giving out their secret URLs, so I don't ask for them anymore. I feel too... urgh. Guilty, I guess.
I wonder why I suffer from this very weird mental sickness. Must've been something like Imaginery Guilt Syndrome. Something that I've never heard of before. If it's imaginery, that is. I have still to find out.
I'm pissed that I have a perfectly fine webcam yet I can't use it because my computer is not here. Arrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!
My God. I have to move over to KL or somewhere bigger. This sucks!
You know what? It's past time I updated my cast list.
But I didn't. Yet.
My brother used to go to Sunway. For his A-Levels. And he told me that it's mostly a party crowd. And it's a fashion show everyday.
I wonder.
Only Ambrosiana knew that I'd gotten my webcam last Monday. Hehe.
Well... now you know.
Bye everyone! See you tonight. :)
*gets ready to go to Kuantan*
Why is everyone so surprised at my sleeping hours? I sleep at 3am-5am normally, and sometimes 2am if I'm exceptionally tired. 1am is I'm sick. I wake up at 6.30am for school, which starts at 7.30am.
Err... is that shocking?
Everytime I see something that can be related to my school in my site tracker, I freak out. For example, the diary tracker:
7 February | 16:45 | United States (intel.us)
Umm... yeah, that made my heart stop for a second. There was two entries from there, both on the same date. And it's my diary! Where I cuss, where I rant, where I rave, where I bare my thoughts. Oh my goodness, it can really turn ugly if one day something happened. I know, I know, I'm a nervous wreck. But I can't help it.
Oh well. Wait, I still have Maths. Now.
Gotta go! ;)
Reading that last post, I really sound like a girl who plays hooky a lot. Haha.
Well... not really.
In school right now, but jeez. I only have Art and Moral subjects left for the rest of the day. Both useless classes to attend, both by teachers whom I despise. I don't know if I plan to skip it or not.
Hmm... that's the question of the day: To skip or not to skip?
Yeah, I read about that poem in Angela's Ashes too. Frank McCourt (the writer) is Irish. And Angela's Ashes is a great book, for anyone who's looking for some good reading. :)
I just got home. I am so tired. Gosh. I need sleep!!!
But I know I'll stay up late anyway. I never quit, do I?
I'm leaving for Kuantan in one hour for the annual Chap Goh Meh dinner with my extended family. I'd better start getting ready.
Today is Chap Goh Meh, the 15th day of the first moon of Chinese calendar. It's also the last day of Chinese New Year celebration. It's also the Chinese's Lover's Day. Today is also Thaipusam.
Everyone else in the world country if having a holiday except us.
Err... anyone interested in how to have good sex?
I've been having an itchy spot (I think it's insect bite?) on my lower eyelid. And I've been scratching it. Damn.
Now it's all red and painful.
I'm a little tired.
Forget about Clix. It doesn't seem to count the votes at all.
Or at least my account is truly twisted.
Out of sheer boredom (plus a lot of free time), I added BlogVoices to my weblog. So you can now comment on any of my posts. Click on the ! sign at the bottom of each post.
And if you see a number next to it, it means the number of comments that has been posted.
Referring to this, was I just depressed or what? Or was I hit by the harsh truth of reality that I cannot accept?
I'm still a mere child, not any older than what she is and appears to be, a 16-year-old girl of a rural place. I don't know. At this moment, I hope that I wouldn't care either.
But I do.
Oh my, what a pleasant surprise! Dear Diary is back!
Goodness, this article is so sarcastic. It's actually making me laugh, reading it.
Sometimes I fear that I'm going to be trapped in a house with the bombs and bullets flying around outside my house, and sometimes flying through the broken windows. While every innocent child hid inside their houses, waiting, scared. And wondering if they're going to get through to another day to see the sun rise in the east again.
But it seems like the unity of Malaysia is indeed threatened.
Was it falsehood when we turn on the TV and sees happy Malaysians, multi-cultured and multi-raced together as if they're best of friends? Was it falsehood when we hear songs sang buy all different races on the radio? Was it falsehood when we mingle with people of another race? After this, you would really wonder what on Earth the government had been hiding from us teenagers and kids so far. It's ugly politics, yes. And it's ugly, all right. The real world is ugly. But it's also news. It's also real. Reality is harsh.
And it's time for delusional people like me to face up to harsh reality that not everything is going to be perfect. Not everyone in this world is going to have a happy ending, and not everything brings joy. So far I had always has an innocent mind in all this. I don't think racism can exist if we don't let it. I don't think hatred is important to us all. We can be friends. We can. I am friends with a lot of people from other races. There's nothing wrong with it. They're the same. We can communicate.
But not everyone thinks like that. I've been living in a dreamworld. Rationally, I know that's true. But deep inside, I'm hoping and wishing that it would be different somehow. But it's not. The fact is, it's not.
And a million songs sang by different races together about happiness and togetherness isn't going to matter one single bit. Not in this case.
It's time I realize that. But how come I find it so hard to digest?
I personally think that my mutation should've been "Excusism" instead. Ability to come up with an excuse or explanation for everything.
Hehehe.
Mutation: Americanism
Description: Inability to walk out of your house without a hand gun.
Muahahahahaha. That's the X-Men me. What's your genetic mutation?
Someone search for "vocab sucks" and came upon my diary. How strange.
Haha. My vocabulary really do suck. *grins*
Goodness, we have another girl here being girlish now. Hehe.
I never learnt about makeup and cosmetics. Hopefully I never will. I have this thing with pride that screams at me to act as tomboyish as possible to get away from teasings from everyone. I'm sensitive. I hate the idea of people saying I "ai mei" (translated, it means, "love to be beautiful", but in the meaning you and I know, it's "want to be beautiful").
I can't stand it. Especially if it's from my family. Gosh. Especially when it's from my brothers!!! Oh, the horrifying things you go through when you live with brothers all your life...
I think my dad is getting sick of my un-girlish-ness.
I just realized something. The weird thing about Malaysian cellphone services is that you can't send SMS messages to someone of another cellphone service. Like 013 can only send to 013 phones.
How odd.
We are still stuck learning the first chapter of 5th Form Biology. About blood.
I'm bleeding now. And the redness of this particular liquid reminds of of the metallic taste of the hemoglobin that didn't go away for weeks, when I had a bleeding throat and started coughing up blood.
That was last year.
Hmm... *looks back at previous posts*
Looks like I have more reasons to want to get my butt out of this place.
My friend thought that when I said "KL Day", I meant "City Day", which is basically "KL Territorial Day" or something twisted like that. But again, according to her, KL Territorial Day is on February 1st.
Huh?
Even if it's Thaipusam on Wednesday, I still don't get a holiday. We all go to school anyway during Thaipusam. I have "interviewed" a few Indian students in school to validate that information (and also flipping through the dust-covered, faded pages of my memory). The reason? One because Terengganu is mostly populated by Muslims, and two because... guess who is in charge of the state of Terengganu now?
You all know what I mean.
Umm... yeah, I'm paranoid. But I'm awful glad I finally found out that I'm not the only one experiencing such problems.
For some reason, I have something against people resinging other people's songs. In the same language or not. I just hate them.
I think the song is called Bring It All Back or something like that. It's a very old English song... a classic, actually. S Club 7 just resang it, that's all.
Maybe they're all wannabes.
How come "head-banging" and "quiet" sounds awfully odd when linked together? It's like an oxymoron!
And by the way, maybe you had an online stalker who knows you offline too. Hehe.
Dear Diary is temporarily moved here. And I closed down the previous years archives until I find a permanent home, or until the original site is fixed.
The day you can no longer access to that temporary URL, check back here for updates. And if you can't access to this either, email me because that means something bad has happened to my website (like deleted, hacked, or the server is just down).
Alternative weblogs to check whether I'm still alive or not is Stale and BLOGGED.
Heh. We're playing Secret Valentines (somewhat like a Valentine-d version of Secret Santas) at The Protagonist Boards, and look at what my Secret Valentine sent me!
That's the 2nd card, because the 1st card was unviewable, and I think Ambrosiana (our "matchmaker" and "cupid") told my SV that.
This is funny. After I managed to send the Intel ISEF research book on time, everyone had been asking me if I wanted to join other science and engineering fairs for this year. Hehe.
I want to actually. I'm just afraid that the fair might land on SPM days, or SPM trial days, or SPM oral days.
And after finishing that research book, my days feel kind of empty. I miss the excitement of doing a project, the stuffs involved, and running around the whole damn school. And I don't get to skip sports practice.
Sigh.
I know what you mean. The singers are absolutely unoriginal and irritating. And sometimes the original song is overplayed enough, and when you add the songs translated into all the different languages by different singers, it becomes a pest to everyone. Sheesh.
That's one of the reason why I rarely buy Chinese records. I don't know what I'm going to get. Faye Wong used to sing a lot of songs that has the melody of Cranberries. And I hated that. I don't know what she sings now though.
Wheeeeeeeeeee... I love using school's computer. The monitor is, like, 16".
I'm only online to check whether support@digitalrice.com has emailed me back.
They haven't.
I think I should go and get some shut eye now before I collaspe from the lack of sleep for the past week. But no doubt it would actually took an hour or more before I actually fall asleep.
Why is everyone having holidays on Wednesday but not me? I not only have school, I also have goddamn sports practice. It's not fair. Not fair at all!!!
Wait a minute. Was this what Steph called "KL Day"? Haha.
You don't have to worry about what to call me. The only reason why you're the only one there who call me "Pei Vern" is cause you knew me since 2 years ago. 2½ years ago, actually.
Zhi Ling is the new girl member for Stale! Congratulate her, quick! :)
Heh. In case you're wondering what the hell I meant with the previous post, I just got back from Mr. Foo's Add Math tuition. That's not the reason why I'm estatic, however. The reason why I'm so damn happy is because I'm finally done with my research book today afternoon, and I'm never touching it anymore after this. If you've talked to me or read my diary entries or whatever, you'd catch the vibe that I've been stressing about it a lot. But now it's bye bye research book days!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee.................!!!
FREEDOM!!!
I agree. There's too many boybands out there nowadays. A little too boring already.
I managed to finish 10 pages of the research book yesterday, and make some tables and the line graph. And I did the calculations for the experiments. I have to work on it some more. I need to make a few pie charts. I need to polish it. And I just realized that I've lost two vital parts of the methodology.
Work work work. Work work work. Work work work.
*puts in Energizer batteries*
In the middle of chatting with Stephanie and Shana, I was disconnected from AIM. Freaky.
I've gotten 3 missed calls today. I wonder why teenagers like to play missed calls so much.
I didn't even bother to "miss call" them back. Too busy, and too tired. They'll have to wait until I'm in a better, more cheerful and playful mood for that.
But "missed call" is a good way to telling someone you're thinking of them, without spending cash. A cheapskate way, yes, but still, it's the thought that counts. And I'm glad I'm thought of. Haha.
*turns on some upbeat music to wake herself up and work some more*
Stale is recruiting new members. Can't wait to know who's the future Stale member(s). May the best nominee win. :)
I've stretched about five times to pop the stiff muscles for the last fifteen minutes. It still aches like hell. The bed and soft comforter looks mighty inviting. And it's cold, perfect for snuggling under the covers.
*sigh* Get back to work, Pei!
Gosh, I'm dead tired, although I barely did any physical activities today other than typing a lot! My neck hurts. My back hurts. My eyes hurts. My head hurts.
Microsoft Excel sucks. Two hours and I can't even make a friggin' line chart to come out properly.
Ohmigod! My diary is gone! Everything is gone from the FTP server...
I think the reason why I feel so inferior with my website is because I cannot do graphics. Sigh. That's right. My graphics suck. For some odd reason, I focus more of scripts and HTML to try to make my website good in the subtle kind of way.
But in the end, excellent graphics are what that makes a website looks cool..
Oh no, DigitalRice is down again!
Hrmm... I have a friend who is 170cm tall yet she wears 3-inch high-heeled boots. None of us wanted to walk next to her cause she looks like the KL tower next to us.
Dad is watching Survivor II at the moment. Eww... did you see what they're supposed to eat?
11 people online, and talking to 4 people. Whoa. No wonder I hide under Invisible mode.
That reminds me, I need to research for my dumb project.
Wow, I had about 9 people online at the same time on my ICQ list just now, while normally it's just maybe 3 or 4 people. Does it have anything to do with it being a Friday night?
A few just got offline, and then a few more got online. Now I have... *counts* 7 people online. Oh wait, 8! Another just got online!
*smiles*
I am crazy. Yes, I know.
This just reminds me. If you ever want to put your webcam into real life streaming format, you can just try out Camarades. Though it has the icky pop-up advertisement, it's viewable with the plain old browser so your visitors can just hop in and out without any other special programs to download.
For some weird reason, NedStats isn't working... the tracker page doesn't show!
Did I tell you yet? I made my first purchase through Internet last Monday! I ordered a webcam... oh yes, a webcam. Yay! The guy called up my dad a couple of days ago to confirm the order, and said that it'll arrive sometime next week.
I can't wait!
I just asked my mom about the 7th day of the 7th month... remember the folklore about the heavenly princesses who came down to earth to take a bath in the lake in the mountains? Yeah, the last princess who could not find her heavenly gown and therefore could not return to heaven (the gown was stolen by a guy who was watching them bathe in the lake)?
I'm not going to type out the whole story. If you don't know the story (where have you been???) and want to know about it, ask me and I'll try to be descriptive about that particular myth.
Anyway, because of something the guy did when he got to heaven (I've heard a few varieties of story there), the god punished the two lovers and they have to live apart for eternity. The 7th day of the 7th month is the only day in one year when the two lovers can meet (the two brightest stars in the sky that day, and I forgot the name of the stars... I'll have to look it up later).
I think everyone is wondering too. Got us so worried there.
Hehe, I just taught Steph how to use permalinks.
Actually... I don't think I've heard of 7th day of the 7th month before... but this Qing Ren Jie I'm talking about is also Cap Goh Meh, the 15th day of the 1st month, and also the last day of Chinese New Year celebrations. It's the day when the girls throw mandarin oranges into the river and the guys stand on the other side trying to loop in the oranges. =Þ
Muahahahaha... Vote for my diary at Clix!
Freaky dog attacks. How does one train them that way anyway? Abuse 'em?
We all know Valetine's Day is coming soon... it's already February after all! By the way, from 8th till 14th is the Flirting Week, according to EGreetings.Com (however, BlueMountain.Com says it's 12th till 18th, and we have many other variables). Coincidently, 8th is the Chinese's Lovers' Day (more appropriately called Qing Ren Jie) for this year, and of course, 14th is Valentine's Day.
Kick off with the 2001 Valentine's Spirit and send stuffs for fun:
[Cards] 123Greetings
[Cards] 3D Greetings
[Cards] AmericanGreetings (Hehe, they're quite cute, actually)
[Cards] BlueMountain (Getting suckier, but still has loads to choose from)
[Cards] Candy Grams
[Cards] Digital-Greetings (Ahhh! I love the teddy bears!)
[Cards] EGreetings (I love the flash cards!)
[Cards] E-Valentines (The layout design is better than the cards)
[Cards] Forever
[Cards] LoveGrams (They're okay, but I don't recommand it)
[Cards] Yahoo! Greetings (Acceptable)
[Kisses] VirtualKiss (I personally think the lips are scary!)
[Flowers] Flower Builder
[Crush] ECrush (A no-fear-of-rejection thingy, as long as your crush has an email address)
[Fun] Love Calculator
Err... on second thought, I think I'd prefer not to get involved.
For some reason, I can't access Steph's weblog either.
The journals I keep up with are:
Dican's
Lauryn's
Rhianna's
Elizabeth's
Stacey's
Whatever happened to Sookie's site? It's like an empty shell!
Eek!
|
